Woke up at 7 30 again this morning and went to meet up with my lawyer again at 8 30 and you can tell how much he doesnt like dad i could tell by reading his eyes it was weird... dad had no support for me at all and kept saying nothing was going to work. i cant be clean i wont be able to stop smoking cigarettes i talk on the phone while i drive blah blah it was funny cause then mike(lawyer) just looks at me and is like I REPRESENT YOU really loud and then he was like NOT YOUR PARENTS so it was awesome... he believed in me more then my own father. I appreciate this man... like we connect or something.. he basically hates the system and well were both alike on that part. haha so yes went home mowed the lawn while it was almost 100 degrees and tanned outside for a while. scotty is back for 2 days. i called. I said do you want to come say hi?? he says No. I say well ... we left off on a bad note why cant we just be friends he says. people keep telling me stories about you (more to it then that) I say. GUESS WHAT he says what I say your mean therefor i dont want to talk to you anymore click i hung up. take a shower 10 minutes later... ruben calls me. tells me to stay on the phone with him cause he is bored and wants to talk. i ask him about my fresca can he says it was thrown out the window or something but i dont really care thats kind of how our relationship went. and now he wants to find a ride so we can hang out. if he does manage that all were ever going to be is friends. cause i dont give those second chances especially to a person who lied and hurt me.(it hurt just a little) but only because this is how every person i have kind of had hopes for ended up like. always came down to someone else being in the picture. just want to scratch their faces out. sarahs mom came here yesterday about three times to tell me to stay away from sarah and went crazy and started telling dad to. hey.. sarahs mom, you come to my house one more time to yell at me. im going to grab the nearest hard thing and beat you with it. freaking insane bitch. now it is 2 10 and none of my friends have called really ... well ef did but he is busy at the moment.. alli likes john and brianna more then me now and she wont even spare a minute to just say hi. sarah is not allowed to see me, talk to me, even think about me. so we have to keep our friendship on the down low which sucks cause she has grown to be someone i trust and can talk to... it sucks now that i have like nobody to talk to. i told dad i might just consider living with mom for a bit cause i know everyone here and i know everything that is here, i cant get into trouble anymore not even the slightest mix up or mistake cause then ... im gone. the court will decide what treatment i am off to and then i still have the felony over my head. shit life goes on eh fuck it