anywayys i had a okay night last night but it makes me just feel like im in my place you know? like this is my home right now and however long i am gone im still coming back home and i will fly away =) my situation never seems like much the whole time im being talked to or when im just walking around everything just seems so fake. like if you want to live one way you can, and really noone can change your mind. you just have to deal through shit till your old enough to actually not have to deal with it. i know it might not make sense but it makes so much sense to me. life is soo weird just so random and fake you get sucked in to what others say and follow them... like marriage church kids school college money what is that stuff? does it really make some people happy or does it just make them feel successful? i dont think people really know meaning anymore. what its like to say your truly happy with yourself and the friends you are thankful for. the family that always believed in you no matter what. the one that doesnt throw you around back and forth and saying whats best for you. noone can decide that but yourself. they can help. or they can try. last night i felt the wind hit my face for the first time again. it never mattered to me but then it hit me. I really just want meaning to come of things. people are just so fixated on whats right and whats wrong they dont really think about what they want. you can be cheated and mislead into what sucks in life. but who got you there? you did. learn from what you know. dont listen to them. they never helped anyway. is this alright to say.Because i think it is. iv lost friends iv lost people and i have lost myself. but i regain concsious quickly because im not weak like any of them. I can do what ever i want to if i put my mind into it. this is the life i want to live. a life with meaning and it will be much better then any of yours.