its funny... someone can ruin your whole life and not realize they did it. someone can do something they find great for themselves while at the same time its crushing you. someone can gain something so dear... as its being stripped from you. someone can have the best day of their life as they give you the worst of yours for the same reasons. there is a method to my madness, my precious dear boyfriend made out with 2 girls besides me since we've been together... (with no regard to my feelings) he has *prolly givin them a wonderful memory* he will prolly always have a place in their minds and hearts... and on their damn webpages as well... and that crushes me... even tho he is mine, its just a crude memory that at one time i was 2nd... and its hard to cope because i loved him so much, then and now... and he didnt always love me as much... it makes me hate him but i cant hate him cuz then i hate myself. so i hate the hoes that caused this, i hate them for everything wrong in me and bryans relationship. and i hate anyone thats ever did this to anyone else! i hand out the simpathy to anyone whose gone threw this cuz i know how hard it is and how it never goes away. i know how it always brings reminders in the form of shout outs on homepages rumors friends of friends anything. i just wanna know how to move on but i cant i think i wrote this just to get it out because its all thats been on my mind for a while.... and it even made me hault to kiss my b/f at the meer thought of them yesterday i tried to get the though out of my head but i just couldnt kiss him and i didnt think of him the same way the rest of the day i thought about how he kissed me and wondered if he put that much passion into it with them... i wondered how he held them and where he placed his hands... if he touched there faces like he does mine, if he looked in their eyes :( i dont wannt think about it... or maybe i wrote this in hopes that those certain people realize it does hurt, and they should open their fucking eyes and feel a lil remorse... and that if they do this to the wrong person... maybe just maybe they will finally get whats comin to them!!! i hope and pray for that day. leave some kisses. i could use some cheering up