this is love none of u will ever know... real true pure love... u will never understand how hard it is 4 me to not burst into tears and tell him how i feel how i want him! u wont ever know, its 1 year for us next month... i wont let us slip quite that easy. the pain just needs 2 vanish... he cried 4 me thats all there is to say Toxictouch13 [9:45 PM]: so what?!? what did you want me to read Toxictouch13 [9:45 PM]: the part where you say i lie to get you in bed? Toxictouch13 [9:46 PM]: well that isn't true Sk8erChick2004 [9:46 PM]: what is true? Toxictouch13 [9:46 PM]: that i lie to you to get you in bed Toxictouch13 [9:46 PM]: what part do you want me to read Sk8erChick2004 [9:47 PM]: no bryan i mean WHAT IS true Toxictouch13 [9:48 PM]: i love you, i want you in my life till the day i die, and the truest part of everything is............ Toxictouch13 [9:48 PM]: that i can't live without you as well Toxictouch13 [9:48 PM]: :( Toxictouch13 [9:48 PM]: i can't take not being with you Toxictouch13 [9:48 PM]: not for one sec. Sk8erChick2004 [9:48 PM]: u could earlier when u told me off Toxictouch13 [9:48 PM]: it just tears me apart inside Sk8erChick2004 [9:48 PM]: and made me feel like shit Toxictouch13 [9:48 PM]: and it grows bigger Toxictouch13 [9:49 PM]: sam, i am so afraid to lose you and your like gone and out of my life.... Toxictouch13 [9:49 PM]: and the worst part is Toxictouch13 [9:49 PM]: that you don't even care, you seem totally fine your not wtih me Toxictouch13 [9:49 PM]: you seem to be happy finding other guyz Sk8erChick2004 [9:49 PM]: b/c u pushed me away Toxictouch13 [9:49 PM]: i did not Toxictouch13 [9:49 PM]: your pushed youself away Sk8erChick2004 [9:50 PM]: nuh no no Toxictouch13 [9:50 PM]: sam, you left me cuz i wanted to have fun and do something. Toxictouch13 [9:50 PM]: and i felt if you really did love me Toxictouch13 [9:50 PM]: you would let me Sk8erChick2004 [9:50 PM]: something that WILL break us Toxictouch13 [9:50 PM]: everything to you will breka us up Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: and you keep saying that untill i have nothing at all in my life Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: but look i todl you that iwon't do it if you come back to me sam Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: okay Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: please Sk8erChick2004 [9:51 PM]: fine then y the hell are u talking to me Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: i wont' Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: cuz i want you in my life more then all that shit Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: i wouldn't snowboard for you Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: and i won't Toxictouch13 [9:51 PM]: okay Sk8erChick2004 [9:51 PM]: then wtf ar eu yellin @ me 4 Toxictouch13 [9:52 PM]: i am not Toxictouch13 [9:52 PM]: but it does really hurt, to see you don't even want me, after you always say you can't live w/o me Toxictouch13 [9:52 PM]: and how you are trying to find other guyz Toxictouch13 [9:52 PM]: and shit Toxictouch13 [9:53 PM]: i ask myself if you ever really did love me Toxictouch13 [9:53 PM]: and i dont' ever want to answer it Toxictouch13 [9:53 PM]: cuz i dont' ever want to know that you didn't Sk8erChick2004 [9:53 PM]: i do Toxictouch13 [9:54 PM]: but how? how could you? it makes no sence at all, it really doesn't seem liek you did or do Sk8erChick2004 [9:54 PM]: y doesnt it Toxictouch13 [9:56 PM]: cuz you won't let me ever do anything, i am so sweet to you, with the lunches, the presents, the coming to your house on bikes, stealing cars to get you, loving you and respecting you, not skateboarding for the longest time cuz you didn't wnat me to. Toxictouch13 [9:56 PM]: being there for you all the time Toxictouch13 [9:56 PM]: when you were down Toxictouch13 [9:56 PM]: i held you and comfort you Toxictouch13 [9:56 PM]: when i am down and when i wanted to do someting you don't even comfort me or support me you throw me out to dry Sk8erChick2004 [9:56 PM]: i am there 4 u Sk8erChick2004 [9:57 PM]: i am a lot Sk8erChick2004 [9:57 PM]: a hella lot actually Sk8erChick2004 [9:57 PM]: and i never am noticed 4 it Toxictouch13 [9:57 PM]: sam you do Toxictouch13 [9:57 PM]: i know you do Sk8erChick2004 [9:57 PM]: i used tom stick up 4 u and believe in u Sk8erChick2004 [9:57 PM]: to* Toxictouch13 [9:57 PM]: i know Toxictouch13 [9:57 PM]: and i ruined that Sk8erChick2004 [9:57 PM]: then i found out i was sticking up 4 a lie Toxictouch13 [9:58 PM]: but for a mistak i have done doesn't mean you can't ever do that for me again Sk8erChick2004 [9:58 PM]: i did that 3 times Toxictouch13 [9:58 PM]: it doesn't mean that i need punished and have no one there for me who beleives in me anymore Sk8erChick2004 [9:58 PM]: 3 times i stuck up 4 u said it wasnt u or u didnt do it when it was Toxictouch13 [9:59 PM]: sam i promise you that it wouldn't happen again and it never has Sk8erChick2004 [9:59 PM]: i lied 2 myself and it killed me Toxictouch13 [9:59 PM]: and it never will Toxictouch13 [9:59 PM]: i want you there for me to stick up for me and beleive in me again and i wouldn't let you down Sk8erChick2004 [10:00 PM]: the things u did today show me differently tho Toxictouch13 [10:00 PM]: but most of all i need you there for a girlfriend, a lover, my lover, my fiance, it made me so happy..... even if i coudlnt' do anything else Toxictouch13 [10:00 PM]: no sam Toxictouch13 [10:01 PM]: i have put my life off since forever for you, and i was thinking today at lunch when you got mad, i was thinking i wonder if she loves me enough to let me do this and hang out with muh boyz, and trust me enough liek you said you did. Toxictouch13 [10:01 PM]: i just wanted to see if you did love me enough Toxictouch13 [10:01 PM]: and that is why i dont' think you do Toxictouch13 [10:01 PM]: i couldn't sam Sk8erChick2004 [10:01 PM]: u were shoved a broken promise in my face Toxictouch13 [10:01 PM]: no Sk8erChick2004 [10:01 PM]: shoving* Toxictouch13 [10:01 PM]: it was never brokeing Sk8erChick2004 [10:01 PM]: yes Toxictouch13 [10:01 PM]: broken Toxictouch13 [10:01 PM]: i never broke it Toxictouch13 [10:02 PM]: you assumed that i was going to do it Sk8erChick2004 [10:02 PM]: then u just walked away Toxictouch13 [10:02 PM]: i grabbed that paper to see what you would Toxictouch13 [10:02 PM]: do Toxictouch13 [10:02 PM]: and sure enough Toxictouch13 [10:02 PM]: YOU BROKE UP WITH ME Sk8erChick2004 [10:02 PM]: u would do the same if i did that 2 u Sk8erChick2004 [10:02 PM]: and met a guy there Sk8erChick2004 [10:02 PM]: and made ur life hell Toxictouch13 [10:02 PM]: i wouldn't sam Toxictouch13 [10:02 PM]: i won't do taht again and i promsie you Sk8erChick2004 [10:02 PM]: dont lie Toxictouch13 [10:02 PM]: sam Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: i am not lieing Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: i swear to god that i wouldn't Sk8erChick2004 [10:03 PM]: ok Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: but you know what Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: i dont' care Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: it doesn't matter Sk8erChick2004 [10:03 PM]: i knowu dont Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: i am not going to snowboard okay Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: THAT'S IT!! Sk8erChick2004 [10:03 PM]: how about Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: I JUST WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE, AND LOVE ME, AND BE WITH ME FOREVER Toxictouch13 [10:03 PM]: YOU COULD MAKE ME HAPPIER THEN NAYTHING COULD, AND EVER WILL Toxictouch13 [10:04 PM]: WHEN IWITH YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I DON'T THINK MY HEART CAN TAKE IT, WHEN I LOOK INOT YOUR EYES, Sk8erChick2004 [10:04 PM]: what about how u were earlier? Toxictouch13 [10:04 PM]: ALLS I SEE IS OUR FUTURE Toxictouch13 [10:04 PM]: and when i feel you skin and soft lips it makes my legs melt into the ground at the very spot i stand Sk8erChick2004 [10:04 PM]: and u didnt talk like this at jasons Toxictouch13 [10:04 PM]: i did Toxictouch13 [10:05 PM]: you wouldn't listen Sk8erChick2004 [10:05 PM]: not the 1st time Toxictouch13 [10:05 PM]: i cried Toxictouch13 [10:05 PM]: infront of him Toxictouch13 [10:05 PM]: i just want you back sam Toxictouch13 [10:05 PM]: that is it Toxictouch13 [10:05 PM]: if you don't beleive me or ever will then fine Sk8erChick2004 [10:05 PM]: i believe u Toxictouch13 [10:06 PM]: i just wanted to let you know that before you go and end up with anohter guy to fall inlove with and have a future with lachie Toxictouch13 [10:06 PM]: = Toxictouch13 [10:06 PM]: now i am going to go to bed Toxictouch13 [10:06 PM]: ;'( Sk8erChick2004 [10:06 PM]: i wouldnt Toxictouch13 [10:06 PM]: goodnight sam Sk8erChick2004 [10:06 PM]: i wont Sk8erChick2004 [10:06 PM]: i cried too Sk8erChick2004 [10:07 PM]: i thought u would go 2 jasons and go to some girls house with him and it would be a repeat of b4 Toxictouch13 [10:07 PM]: no sam, i wouldn't and i promise you that, i won't ever do that agian Toxictouch13 [10:07 PM]: i couldn't Sk8erChick2004 [10:07 PM]: i thought id lose it if u did and id kill myself from stress and the pain from my arm cancels out pain from a blade Sk8erChick2004 [10:08 PM]: so i wasnt scared Toxictouch13 [10:08 PM]: my heart is too adapted to our love and it is just a painful reminder of how we ended up from before, i wouldn't do taht to you again. .......... Toxictouch13 [10:08 PM]: you mean too much to me sam Toxictouch13 [10:08 PM]: alls i talked about was wanting you back Toxictouch13 [10:08 PM]: and how i couldn't live without you Toxictouch13 [10:08 PM]: and how i will not sb for you Sk8erChick2004 [10:09 PM]: what Toxictouch13 [10:09 PM]: how i will not snowboard for you Toxictouch13 [10:10 PM]: okay Sk8erChick2004 [10:11 PM]: okay Toxictouch13 [10:11 PM]: i don't feel like i am being heard, i don't even know if you care or not......but sam, my life is lost without you, you are the light to my l soul and heart................i feel like i am apart of you and when your gone like this, it is like taking my lungs away, i can't breath Toxictouch13 [10:12 PM]: taht's it Toxictouch13 [10:12 PM]: like i said Toxictouch13 [10:12 PM]: i am not sure if you care or not Toxictouch13 [10:12 PM]: but i love you and i want more then anyhting Sk8erChick2004 [10:12 PM]: i care Toxictouch13 [10:14 PM]: hugging you and asking you if this was goodbye, and you never answering me, i knew the hug ment that, and so many tears fell form my eyes when i got ont hat bus, and i read your letter, and i just wanted to run up to yu and tell you that i love you..... Toxictouch13 [10:14 PM]: but i have to go sam Toxictouch13 [10:14 PM]: goodnight Toxictouch13 [10:14 PM]: ;'( Sk8erChick2004 [10:15 PM]: goodnight :- Sk8erChick2004 [10:15 PM]: never 4get what caused this Sk8erChick2004 [10:15 PM]: and well never have a problem Toxictouch13 [10:15 PM]: so your never coming back to me? Toxictouch13 [10:15 PM]: you are leaving me Sk8erChick2004 [10:16 PM]: thats not what i said Sk8erChick2004 [10:16 PM]: all the fights Sk8erChick2004 [10:16 PM]: dont 4get what caused them Toxictouch13 [10:16 PM]: i won't sam Toxictouch13 [10:16 PM]: but are you leaving me from this point? Sk8erChick2004 [10:16 PM]: do u understand y i dont want u to snowboard? Sk8erChick2004 [10:17 PM]: u feel like ur not being heard... psshhht! Toxictouch13 [10:17 PM]: i do Toxictouch13 [10:17 PM]: yes Toxictouch13 [10:17 PM]: and i am not going to go snowboarding okay Sk8erChick2004 [10:17 PM]: okay Toxictouch13 [10:17 PM]: i sai that Toxictouch13 [10:17 PM]: i mean it Sk8erChick2004 [10:17 PM]: ok Toxictouch13 [10:17 PM]: and i do know why Toxictouch13 [10:17 PM]: so dont' think i don't Toxictouch13 [10:17 PM]: don't think i wasn't listening Sk8erChick2004 [10:17 PM]: i just want u to rmember why we fight so damn much now-a-days Toxictouch13 [10:18 PM]: :'( i understand that sam, goodnight:'( Sk8erChick2004 [10:19 PM]: i love you Toxictouch13 [10:19 PM]: :'( i love you too sam:'( Sk8erChick2004 [10:19 PM]: dont cry 4 me Toxictouch13 [10:19 PM]: i am fine Toxictouch13 [10:19 PM]: g-night Sk8erChick2004 [10:19 PM]: baby Sk8erChick2004 [10:19 PM]: it'll get better Toxictouch13 [10:19 PM]: nothing will w/o you Sk8erChick2004 [10:19 PM]: we will get better Toxictouch13 [10:20 PM]: it doesn't feel like it Toxictouch13 [10:20 PM]: you'll never come back Toxictouch13 [10:20 PM]: i just have this gut feeling, this feeling in my heart Sk8erChick2004 [10:20 PM]: i dont want 2 be hurt Sk8erChick2004 [10:20 PM]: but i want u Toxictouch13 [10:20 PM]: you wont' be sam Toxictouch13 [10:20 PM]: please Toxictouch13 [10:20 PM]: understand Toxictouch13 [10:20 PM]: beleive Toxictouch13 [10:20 PM]: i wont' Sk8erChick2004 [10:21 PM]: so hold on 4 me and dont let go of my hand until im ready Toxictouch13 [10:21 PM]: but i have to go:'( Toxictouch13 [10:21 PM]: goodnight:'( Sk8erChick2004 [10:21 PM]: goodnight Toxictouch13 [10:21 PM]: bye:'( Sk8erChick2004 [10:21 PM]: byes Sk8erChick2004 [10:21 PM]: well? Sk8erChick2004 [10:21 PM]: y are u on still lol Toxictouch13 [10:21 PM]: i am putting my away msg on Sk8erChick2004 [10:22 PM]: ooh Sk8erChick2004 [10:22 PM]: okie byes Toxictouch13 [10:22 PM]: :'( yeah Toxictouch13 [10:22 PM]: goodbye Sk8erChick2004 [10:22 PM]: night... :- Auto response from Toxictouch13 [10:22 PM]: I am asleep right now.