SUMMED UP: *updated* yea just refreshing some memories with this BLAST FROM THE NEAR PAST *aka* yesterday! due to some things that were pissing me off... tired of shit talkers yep yep. yepperz! from the mouth of my babe... CSUskater1 [11:59 PM]: just come back to me sam, please, the things you are thinking now are not true CSUskater1 [11:59 PM]: i am not going to hurt you Sk8erChick2oo4 [11:59 PM]: whats true CSUskater1 [11:59 PM]: well first CSUskater1 [11:59 PM]: autumn CSUskater1 [11:59 PM]: i don't like her CSUskater1 [11:59 PM]: she is CSUskater1 [12:00 AM]: annoying as fuck Sk8erChick2oo4 [12:00 AM]: why u always with her then CSUskater1 [12:00 AM]: now jess, she is a fucking multiple faced bitch Sk8erChick2oo4 [12:00 AM]: didnt stop u b4 CSUskater1 [12:00 AM]: no she is always walking down to my house, and the only time she comes over is when perry is here CSUskater1 [12:00 AM]: and josh CSUskater1 [12:00 AM]: and even jason CSUskater1 [12:00 AM]: i can't stand her CSUskater1 [12:00 AM]: but Sk8erChick2oo4 [12:01 AM]: ... CSUskater1 [12:01 AM]: when you dated my friend and crushed me and i got that picture of melisa and i kissing, i wanted to date her cuz i wanted you to know how it felt to see your life move on Sk8erChick2oo4 [12:01 AM]: using her... hmmm hmmm yea.... seems to mean something.... hmmmm.... the one who looks stupid now is.... hmmm.... complex... need to think more about this topic... need to seperate truth from lie... but 4 now...... need 2 SLEEEEEP! it's 3 AM dude! lol oh and im contemplating not going to school tomorrow im far too tired and dont feel real well! -- update -- i didnt go. with josh and perry and guido and bryan and adam staying the night and getting us all fucked up friday and being online or on the phone all saturday and not being able to sleep tonight. LIVING OFF 3 HOURS OF SLEEP SINCE THURSDAY IS CRAZY! but hey... it was a fun long weekend. im hungry tt4n. and dude... the comments you keep leaving are adorable bryan. -update times 2- ~i could use a nice bong hit -- lol -i hated weed a month ago... damn you people ~4*6*03 -- this much [----] lol ~this is quite random ~my number one hate is people who think they know bryan better than i.... FUCKERS! i hold his secret not you. so BLAH! ~also hate sluts... aka BSHS. ~Lostprophets 'last train home' is my favorite song ~i dont get 30 comments every post now... prolly means i need to stop posting so often. ~lol tt4n *again* --update times 3-- i decided to not make new entries so often so i get more comments on each. i wanted to say hello to the new friends ive made on here today. you guys have awesome diaries. truely. =) thanx 4 all the lovely comments! --update times 4-- just got back from the emergency room. turns out my back ache was serious enough to provide me with 2 prescriptions of vikodin or w/e... i missed talking to guido tonight =/ i was kinda pissed to find out bryan was already talking to the WHORES at school today. i thought hard and decided i might just let go while im this far ahead. he left me another comment. sigh. oh well its 12:12 --update times 5-- been seriously thinking about walking away from bryan and it hurts... but id rather not be hurt and i have a great guy who i really like... life is such a fucking WHORE OF A BITCH!!! all i can think about is him flirting with those other girls and not caring and him kissing them and talking to them all night. and more GAH!!!! fucking gross. he hasnt been with a single pretty girl yet... they are really allllll nasty looking. im not that great but they make me look like barbie. he's like a slut that takes whatever is there and he's serious as josh said "a skank magnet" lol josh makes me smile. i know he never liked them and he lied to them i know he used them to hurt me i know he would go back and take it all back if he could but it doesnt take away the pain. i know they ment nothing to him i can tell in his voice and see in his eyes i wrote this: he broke my heart left it wide opened and walked away. now he wants to come back and repair it and reclaim our fate. but sorry baby duct tape wont fix everything. i love you more than there are stars in the sky but how can you look me in the eye and say your mine? what about the other girls that you slutted with while we were apart, one night stands just didnt play the part? you say im yours and you are mine you want me to come back but i cant keep crying this time! im lost and hurt my trust is gone im torn apart and soon 2 be gone. heres your one last chance to prove your mine... and this time if you bring me a picture of an ugly slut i wont waste my time. prove your love once and for all and dont say you tried or our love will fall yea the picture part is about him coming up and showing me a pic of him and an ugly girl kissing... thats why i started going out with guido... i just wasnt gana stick around and deal with his shit. im so hurt and lost i cant sleep, worst part is its 2:30 in the morning even his diary makes me feel ashamed. i wish he'd delete it. oh and Konstantine is the song on here once i get it up and working. who doesnt love that song? enjoy. i dedikated it to bryan btw. alrighty then... clip-it from the song... woohoo this is because i can spell konfusion with a k and i like it it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car but this time im alone and I dont see those stars I'm not your star isn't that what you said what you thought this song meant and if this is what it takes just to lie in my mistakes and live with what i did to you and all the hell I put you through I always catch the clock it's 11:11 and now you want to talk it's not hard to dream you'll always be my konstantine this entry is getting long! im waiting 4 a fight tomorrow too. boys boys boys tisk tisk... i can love one and very much want to be with the other... jeez loves hard to let go of. pregnancy isnt an issue with me.... better NOT be BRYAN!!!!!!!! gah! OFF 2 BED DAMNIT! --update 6-- jeez 2 lazy 2 make a new entry. pregnancy might be an issue says bryan. gah whys he keep doing that? him and i and even guido and i got in a fight today.... i was in a bad mood i guess. i thought guido would dump me now but even after him finding out me and bryan fucked friday night he still stays. maybe i should let him go so i dont hurt him =( i feel like shit... i really like him but i duno how to stop loving bryan and i dont want to stop loving bryan either in a way. but guido did piss me off by eating lunch with the slut i now HATE... but i ate with bryan =) so all worked out. still feels weird when both bryan and guido are here. specially if im alone in my room with one of them. sigh so yep. me and bryan had sex friday while guido was in the next room, theres my secret adams being a real dick about it. --update march 26-- broke up with guido last night. with bryan again... happier than b4! feel shitty about guido =( perry and josh and bryan came over. then adam and guido. me and guido had plans 4 2nite now im not sure he even wants 2 stay friends. im spending the night with bryan... at josh's i think. b4 that im going to nicholes party. well its 5:30 and i got school at 6:50 so ill be on my way now.