ok ok ive updated 2 many times 2day 4 yall to catch up with... but this will most likely be the last since it is 1:30 and i have school tomorrow. random thoughts cross my head deleting the diary. old friends new friends (online friends) *carly,carrie,seth,and my regulars on the site* see friends list on left! the comment i made about cumberland valley high school in my "MoRe PiCtUrEs" entry... and adding a few more schools to that shit list. going back to school... the talk about them taking away our block scheduling! NOO! more than 4 classes a day??? FUCK THAT! think logic... thats more than 4 finals at the end of the marking pd! getting a job... possibly start saving to move! picking a car... woohoo my mommie and (daddie- (who i havent seen since i was 3) are gana buy it... anyone i want! its about time! bryan and my 1 year anniversary and what to get him. beef stew! hehehe my hallucinations, my scheduled counsiling session, my bi-polar disorder, and all that shiz my book.... *chapter 2* i changed the girls name to Saida. and Leyla is her only friend. (now with those names i think of LaCheintica Leilani Tatiana Newell) hehe bryan :( and what the winter will bring us (now he says he will quit snowboarding 4 me) i dont want to risk it and believe him :'( how bad i need a cigarette. all the comments ive been getting lately bryans new privacy and why he seems 2 hurt me when he's hurt... hmmm maybe he's trying to get even... i have no idea! and what ill change my diary too after this layout... that is all 4 now :/ -update- today bryan and i were quite well together... we didnt fight and had a rather enjoyable convo at lunch... he wrote me the sweetest letter... i asked why he's with me and when he started to love me and the answers really took my heart away :) he said he started to really love me in december and january of last year... like ya know... the love grew everyday more and more i guess... he wrote that he made some pretty stupid mistakes around that time but they ment shit nothing compared to me. :/ this semi- makes me feel better. hehe benas b/f * i suppose * was in a car accident and was hurt rather badly if i got my facts straight. i asked my best friend about it but we hadnt very much time 2 talk. bryan pulled a ring pop out and proposed to me today heh! it was green *WATERMELON!* it was so yummy! and i said yes! hehehehe. he said since 4 our anniversary he couldnt afford the real thing... that would have 2 do 4 now... i loved it! we hugged and kissed and were happy ALL DAY! hehehehehe its such a beautiful day out... i wish i could be with him making out in the rain =) man a lot of people are suddenly asking me to put them on my friends list... its getting rather lengthy. oh well. i love you all. specially my bry bry! *ive been putting off calling his mommie but i think i will shortly... lol grrr... wheres bryan!? man o man... i'd be so sweet if he showed up here right now! but im dreamin lol