I honestly hate myself. I feel like i ruin everything. Why do i always push things? Why can't i leave whats already amazing? I feel so horrible. My blatant(blatant wtf?) disregard for other people's feeling makes me sick to my stomache. Why am i like this? Like, i can't even explain the rage i have towards myself right now. It's incredible. Like a trillion spiritual fists are beating the crap outta me right now. And thats a lotta fists. The only reason i seem to be here, is because of my two best friends, and Lindsay. And i think im ruining those. I can't really explain why, but everything was seeming to be perfect. But, i don't know i'm still always sad, unless i'm with one fo the three. Which is sorta sad, i have three amazing friends. I think im too picky. To untrusting. Oh well, i'm gonna go die, like internally. AKA emotionally.