Damn you eyes mother! I told her not to put money on my account but she did anyway! Damn it. I didn't do much this weekend, just played video games and read, and not for class either. I feel like Jordan has the same idea of getting a photo tattoo, that is poopy. I guess it is a little selfish to get two, but hrm. I'll stick tot he one on my chest I guess? I don't even know. Ooop, just switched to Betrayed, and my mood instantly got better. I'm pretty sure me and Janalee are done. I am so dumb, I think I like every girl I have a chance with, but I don't. Ethan warned me too, he is like, you might just like girls because it is a challenge and are filling the void left by Jordan. I feel like I've tried over and over and I can't fill this God damn hole. Not that I am that cliche' or anything, it is just that she can't be replaced, and deep down I know I don't want her to be, or to even try. So I don't know what my new game plan is. Ugh except to slowly hate Scott more and more, he called her his girlfriend, and all I could think was, "yeah? she may be your girlfriend, but she is MY soulmate! Dick." Well there was a lot more "snake in the grass" and other curses thrown in. Plus I didn't emphasize that she was mine, more that we belonged to each other. That whole thing. Still lost. Still hurting. Still searching, so desperate for answers. Wow. Years later and Betrayed is perfectly attuned with any feelings I have. Still growing up, still fucking up, still lost and desperate for answers. God dman not having texting! I need a fucking phone! I can't really talk to anyone, especially Jordan. I think I will set my alarm for a little earlier, and call her like how she called me, such a pleasant surprise. I felt bad that I had to go though. All I can think about is Jordan, I wish I could get my mind off her. I used to be able to, but I just ended up in an angry mood I think. I wish I wasn't poor. OH! So it costs 2000 dollars to leave housing at the halfway, even for CA's, so it would cost 10000 for all of us to move out. So I guess that happens next year. I have to put up with this shit for even longer, but at least I'll get paid slightly more. I want tattoos. At least I am finally stretching my ears though. Exciting. I have something I wanna say on here, but can't for a while longer. Less than a week though. I guess I'm not just chilling in Napa, Calvin's papa asked us to work for him. 8 hours a day for 5 days at 10 bucks an hour doing hard labor, so EXCITED! MONEYS! Plus I get to meet his mama and brothers and shit, cool. Ok. I am not sleepy, but no one is awake to talk too, and I should probably try. Night.