So I take back that entry. It doesn't make it less true, but I was clearly upset. I'm deleting my myspace and facebook, so this will be my zone. I'm gonna be honest about things, write more, write more in my other account, and all that good stuff. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ First order of business; Spring Break. Really fun. I had a great time, OVERALL. It ended up a huge disaster. I got in a argument with Michael, which I'll get to, and my sister exploded, and my familly was upset. So DeAndra was honestly upsetting me, and I kinda of got in my own little defensive shell, which I guess "ruined" my famalies day at the Reagan Library, and lead to the true disaster. I got a PSP by selling me soul, and I tested it out, and it made noise during a movie. DeAndra said some remark in a bitchy tone, and I replied in a defensive manner. She stood up in front of company and said she hated me, and wished I would just go back to school. So yay. Then my mom lectured me(not in a "she lectured me tone"), in front of Jordan, and cried in front of Jordan, which was wierd. It ended up with me being the final blame, standing on years of build up. Onto Michael. I swear sooner or later I'll get onto good news. We got into an argument about him being a little to intense during dodgeball. I'm sure its going around that I'm being/was being a pussy, but I'm just distancing myself and looking at the situation maturely(spelling?). He didn't/couldn't understand what the issue was, and didn't/couldn't understand what he was doing wrong. Bottom line; it is just dodgeball, simmer down a little. Although I will admit, under it all was just a lot of frustration I've had over the years with him comig out. I feel like he has betrayed me as a friend, which is maybe a little harsh of a word, but I can't think of any more appropriate. He is dating, possibly, the only other serious girlfriend I've ever had. It just sucks having to look at the pictures, read the words, and hear the voices. I know that you can't control your heart, that you can't choose who you love, but that doesn't help my heart at all. It hurts me to see this. True story. I was at his house, for some reason sleeping in his bed instead of him, and I saw some letter she wrote him. After he was gone I picked it up to look at it, and of course, he walked in, but I tried, keyword tried, to hide it. I don't think I've ever been more disgusted with myself in my life. What should I care about their relationship? I don't know either, but for some reason I do. WOW. I have 279ish links on my page. I don't know why I care, I just do. I don't know why I hate it, I just do. I'm sorry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GOOD NEWS SECTION~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I got a poem published! More specifically, Jordan did. I got in a copntest, got semi-finalist, and now I'm a finalist. So I got picked for a book, yay. PLUS! I will be the Vice-President of RHA; Residence Halls Association next year! An actualy paying job that lets me help my school, shweet. I found my outline for my next story, so rock on. I might even start on it. Although I doubt it. So tomorrow is, I'm just gonna type it like it sounds, Caesar Chavez Day. Jordan left earlier today, which sucks. They don't get it off, LAME. I had a good weekend with her. I'm being honest though. She hurt my feelings, and I consider it lying. She lied to me over time, and thats ok. I just needed her to swear to me that she'd fix it, and I hope she/you do, for both of us(not a threat). It is a really big deal to me, and I need you to work as hard as you can. It really upset me, and I couldn't even find the words. All thats ok though, just please work hard. I love you bunches. So tomorrow, after I get up, I probably wont sleep, I'm training with Genine, the current VP. I guess were picking up a skateboard, a bike, and doing paperwork. Should be terrible. She is soooo loud, but pretty damn funny. Then I'm going to spray paint under this bridge. More specifically a stencil I did of the Death Star shooting out hearts instead of a laser. Although I might make it a lazer shooting hearts, who knows. Tonight, I've decided, I will write it. Now I've unconviced myself. I'll rearrange. As well as take a shower in a few. Overview: 1. Mike is upsetting me 2. I care for some reason 3. I love you 4. JENNA- booom this was a huge update. Lick it. XVX-Jesus it has been a while. P.S. I'm religious again. Not that I wasn't it is just a bigger thing for me now.