Everyone's advice is so similar and not what I want to hear. Fak fak fak. I feel like there is a time limit on these things, and I am wasting precious precious time. Ugh and I have to censor my shit on here and that gets old fast. If I say things on here and she reads it, will it affect her choices? Or how she perceives mine? I don't know but I reckon yes. Plus I don't want to influence her life if things are going good for her and shes happy. If she has an opportunity to date someone who would be good for her, regardless of what I really think, she should have the chance. Even the thought knocks me out but it is true. I got 5 hours of sleep, including waking up from nightmare. I don't even dream, let alone have nightmares. How fucked up is that? Also, see censorship. Fuck. Well I of coursed want my best friend in my life, but she doesn't text me. I feel like I got replaced, even as a friend. I have to text her, and keep the conversation alive. Which is fine, it just sucks. Why did this happen? If I keep going I really will fuck things up. So much on my mind 24/7 now. Ugh Tuesday Thursdays suck though, I have class for SOOO long and I get bored, then my mind wanders, then I get super depressed. I bet my family is super pissed about how much I text them with my confusion. Rylan wants me to come to SC for the weekend, and I want to very bad. Get away and see some people. I'd have to train to SF then he would grab me, but I don't even know if it is possible. I guess I could skip class Monday and leave Monday morning? Hmm. Possible. Ok time to do hw.