I had a very normal Friday night. We rented movies, then watched them. We watched burn after reading, which we've seen and loved before. Then the new punisher movie, which was awful but funny. THEN the finale. "Donkey punch". No joke. Skanks get on a boat, one gets killed during sex by a donkey punch, and then fight to live. Huh. SUCH A BAD DAY! LIKE ALL FACETS! ONE. Waited all day for the Boston game, and it went horrible! Every person who walked by seemed to be a God damned Yank fan, or pretended to be. WTF. Then we got SMASHED. Plus I worked out, and it went amazing, which is bad because I am sore, and working out well requires anger for me. So I had to get mad, when I was in a mellow mood. Then my program got canceled, for no reason as it turns out. I finally talked to a friend who knows both me and Jordan, Peter. WOW. Phone off for like 4 hours and no texts. God damn it. So of course that talk put me in a bad place, then she wouldn't text me back, then she didn't say anything about my last post, which I knew she wouldn't, but was hoping she would. I mean I don't hold it against her, cuz I should bring it up, but I got my hopes raised. THEN. Peter told me stuff I didn't wanna hear, but needed to? Know what I mean? Like I didn't think him staying over would hit me, but damnnnn. He has stayed over a few times, and she is very physically attracted to him. Fantastic. I feel like all the things that were "our" things are every bodies things, in theory. I haven't even let a girl touch my face yet. Tonks rubbed my nose once, and I got a lil sad. No girls have cut my hair. Not important to her, but I remember how much it upset her. The worst part though, is that if she isn't texting me back, or answering my phone call, is she with him? That sucks. When I called before were they together, and if so, what did she say when she saw her phone? "Its nobody"? That would crush me if I ever heard that. So bottom line, for me, is I need to talk to her. For me and hers sake right? She has GOT to be having some of this in her head. So when it isn't 4 in the morning, and I'm away from people an din the right state of mind, I'm calling and initiating this overdue conversation. Peter put it best I guess, "It just isn't right". I wish I wasn't so stubborn. She said it right. We are Kiefer and Jordan. Depending on how this conversation goes, I guess my coarse of action may change. I have no idea what I'm expecting, but it NEEDS to happen. There are so many influences I DO NOT want involved though. On both sides. How can I see clearly through all this haze? The storm will pass and the horizon will clear. Onto happy things. I think tomorrow I am going to skour my residents until I find a skate board, and hit up that park finally. I remembe rhow skateboarding used to make me feel, and that is what I need. I need soemthing that requires focus, exerts my body, and hurts. Sounds perfect. I am not sleepy. I need sleep though. Ugh. I would rather skate at like 8 AM but I don't have my own board. I will skate in the heat. DAMN. I cannnnoottt believe no one texted me. I guess I just wish she texted me. If one thing about me is pathetic, this is it. Emery then bed. BAD CHOICE. Sleep. Oh and some drunk girls touched me and said my eyes were pretty, gross.