I listened to the wrong people I think. If I'm in this mindset right now, how the hell am I going to deal with actually seeing Jordan? I talk to her everyday. I'm miserable in a weird way. I'm bored, and everything seems pointless. I don't even wanna talk about this. Calvin asked the simplest question I've ever heard the other day on my options at the time, and now I keep kicking myself. It was simple and I blew it. Goodnight.