accidentally pressed enter. woops. So me and amanda broke up, short lived right? Sunday through Sat? not even a full weak haha. Bottom line, we work together, we live together, and I am unsuitable to be dated PWAHAHA. Were both ok though, which is good. Everyone was watching us, so I'm sure I'll hear about this. Literally though, I believe I am undatable. I dare someone to prove me wrong. I do what I want. For real. Like I used to say it, but now I do it. Plus I wasn't attracted to her physically, and she was the worst kisser I've ever kissed. No biggie though. She said I wan't ambitious enough, which I thought was the perfect description. I know it. She wasn't being a dick though, like I know it, she knows it, everyone knows it, I don't give a fuck. So that was funny. I guess Calvin and Kate, whom visited today and whom I love, are bringing up a girl for me to marry, apparently. So that should be cool. I don't know how I feel lately. I've been painting and doing arty stuff for fun, so thats good. But I donno. I want to date, but fuck. I just don't know. Peter texts me today, "you shouldn't look at Jordan's tumblr" so I did of course. I don't normally check her shit, other than this, because A)thats creepy and stupid, and she can live he damn life without my prying eyes, and B)I'm afraid of what I'll see. But of course I had to look, he told me not to. I wasn't mad exactly. Upset I guess. Not even upset. Just, blank. Which is how I've been feeling I guess. Utterly blank. I was just icky because of her recent update on here, saying how she messed up and sheezy, and then she posts that saying "when nothing else seems right?". I wont be played. I want honesty in this fuck ass of a situation. She said she dropped him, which is ok either way, but then this? It is her choice and everything, I want to make that clear, but I don't like this. Maybe it is old, and that was what she was referring to, and thats fine. I just don't know what to think. She is mad at me, wants to be together, doesn't want to be together, wants to wait, doesn't want to wait, hates me, loves me. I wish it were more simple. This is life though. I just want honesty, which I'm not saying has been lacking. I'm just curious. Ugh now I'm pissed, no I'm not I don't know why I typed that. I just hate Scott. Once again though, I wont talk about him on here. No I don't hate him, he is just a rat bastard, but so am I. Ugh ugh. Peter was more mad than me haha. On a better and much more normal note, I looked GREAT today. My new shorts, red jeans, my flannel with red in it, not the RED one, but the one with red, my red beanie, and me. SO GOOD. I wanted a picture of me so I could profile it. Yeah, I said it. It showed off my leg a lot, so I was like phuck yeaaahhh. I love my new shorts. They have paint on them too! KOOL! I have so much work to do by Tuesday, it is disgusting. Like I wont have any fun at all. FUCK. Ok. I have church tomorrow. Night.