She's right. What was I thinking. I rushed her too much. I feel, I know I love her. I know I want to marry her. But I don't think she's ready for me. I don't wanna break up or anything, the exact opposite. I love her way to much to be anything more than what she want's to be. She could never dissapoint me. EVER. I wish she would have just told me. We could have avoided this situation completely. We have the perfect thing going. And I alone may have tainted it. See! I do ruin life. I should just move away. Like when everyone is asleep. Grab some clothes and just start walking. To where I can't hurt anyone. Just get in the ocean and start swimming. Until I can't. Then just sleep. Kill some time. I think by just being me, I hurt her. More and more everyday. If I take time and look at myself, and our thing, I dissapoint her over and over. I was gonna go to the beach today with Reyna and Matt and some Ian guy. Now I don't want to be anywhere. I wan to be asleep far out in the ocean. Feeding the fish...we are young, this is the wrong time.