YAY! there are only 2 more days of school and then we are out! i cannot wait, i just wanna like stay all alone the whole time to think about everything! like the whole emotional rollercoaster. Right now it is like one of the spots where i am once again doubting myself and life, like trying to find a purpose but it is not working! Oh well, maybe i was not meant to have a purpose but to cause people pain! yea i think that that is it! oh well, i realized i cannot ask much of this world because it never works..."dreams do come true" that is like the crappiest lie i have ever heard...because they dont! i feel at times it would be better to be the dream rather than the dreamer! i dont know...dreaming hasnt really bought my life up at all, just makes me face a fucked reality! I also gotta focus on my school, i cant do bad, i really need to get my grades up and everything. I have like a 2.8 but that is not good enough! i will never be good enough! i swear! next semester I am probably going to have to be like the total school girl and crap because i have screwed myself over with this all! i know i am not getting into a college, especially if i stay on this track! Life loves letting me down! i mean not much positive things have came out of it! i am sick of it and want to leave putting about 99.9% of it in the past! there are a couple good things in my life! Which you probably can tell what they are!