Poemsby brokenwords
Feeling: angry
i hate you all everything about you! including the way you laugh as i fail, as i fall! i want to leave so why cant i? you know you dont care not one thing i do pleases you i have nothing to continue to do just scream, cry and hope to die hurt alone while I try to find the reasons to not use a knife its not like I matter never have been loved i want our of your life just fucking drown, just fucking die! i dont care how or why just let me leave this hell you run i hate you! only a lame, ignorant fool would love you! ******************************************************* here I stand, with so many options facing me. each a way, which i dont know many dirt paths, no clear paved road i cannot devide which way to go i dont know where they lead so naturally i think the worst hesitate to chose, hestitate to walk afraid they'll lead to another failure another painful end. give up, give in try harder or just end i dont want to fail, but i cant lose once i walk i cant turn back cant be shown wrong, cant be shown weak ****************************************************** do i still feel the way i once said i forever would the instant happiness from your smile the moment you arrive the completeness from your presense the love and trust from the look in your heavenly eyes or has this long time crush come to an end do i love you more as merely a friend has time healed a broken heart which nothing else could men the feeling i thought couldnt ever fade, just gain strength, now out of my reach, which i held so long the simple thought of losing my only real happiness feels extremely wrong has time played against us make us grown apart and lose that touch or am i easily fooled without you near? ******************************************************* i know how you feel for me, i know that I have failed, yet again. you dont need to say it, every chance you get, everytime someone questions it. "i'm not going to pay $25, so she can fail another test!" is that all you think of me? a failure...even at my best? my education is nothing to you, you sit and just get high while neighbors ask me... "what are you going to do with your life?" "when are you taking the SAT?" "how are you going to get into a university?" every time i answer the same, I DON'T KNOW! its not like my family cares. you just sit and play a critic. always complain when I fail, always tell me that I am going to ruin what I have. when you should be there to cheer me on, when you should be worried and push me. yet you just take another hit, relieve yourself of your stress. while here i'm falling, i have no best. i guess my education is all on me, i guess i am gonna be the only one to set me free, the only one to care,the only one to be there. To get myself in debt so i don't end up like you, and everyone surrounding me. you won't pay so i shall "fail" again, thanks for the hope and support. I'll never forget, cause that has always been your attitude towards me. I'll never let you see you always get the best of me, bring me to my knees and cry. Simply a few years, then my failure shall leave, no matter where I go. its not with you.
Read 3 comments
Hey Victoria it's Christy I got a #new* sit diary. I *pimped* it out. LOL
how was Oregon? rainy> well it was 90 degrees here and it was raining! lamo. very odd weather. Like some say.
Only in Las Vegas or only in America.
Xty.
lizzie
[Anonymous]
i love your poems the first oen i think was teh best it liek discribed how i feel toward my x-bf it was leik it was ocmign out of my head.