why do they call it new year? i mean it isnt really new. not for me at least! life is the same. it is nothing new. i just want to be able to start over all again, like take all the pain away and all lies, and all the drama and have a chance for once. i mean i dont really feel like it is a new year because i have the same OLD problems, fears, lies, pains, likes...etc. (i think the point is made!) the "NEW YEAR" just gives me more to mess up, more pain, more people to hurt, to be everything i dont want to be. i dont want to have a crush, i dont want to have the same drama with "friends" i dont want to have the same family problems, i dont want to have the same fears. i wanna be a "new" person. i am not sure what is holding me back from changing myself, the only thing i can think of is myself...i fear if i change i will be MORE unhappy with life and everything that comes with it. i dont like myself, and can anyone out there blame me? or contradict the fact that i am hated? NO! i dont want the same things to affect me anymore but once again, they already are. i just want to cry, but it will not help this time!