Tomorrow, the fourth issue of the summer goes on stands.

And it's also the day Sam's coming home.

I have no idea when I'll see him. IF I see him.

I don't even know how long he's going to be home.

I know that on Saturday I have plans to go to a show, and I'm booked all through Sunday night.

I know that on Saturday I'll be seeing Jeremy.

I am very very attracted to Jeremy. I get the sense that it's mutual. We're playing with each other right now. I'm happy with that.

I like Tom. Tom likes me.

But there's a reason we aren't seeing each other, and won't be until school starts up again.

We didn't really start talking until the very end of classes. And who wants to start something long distance? Not Kelly. NOT Kelly. Long distance is the worst worst worst. but...hell. 4 hours for the course of a few months is not long distance compared to what I've done in the past haha.

I'm also going to the JSIC concert Saturday.

I.don't.know.why.

I don't listen to them. I don't listen to Morning in May. I don't listen to anybody there. It costs money. Requires going home.

But then, I'll be getting back into the scene I suppose, a little nostalgia value

but why this show? It's convenient timing, being right before Another Level. And I've been hoping to see Jonas Sees in Color for AGES.

I know that Jeremy knows Flynn.

I know that Jason is going with Flynn.

I'm going to have to talk to Flynn.

I'm going to have to talk to Flynn probably WITH JEREMY. AT THE SAME TIME. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

Why is my life filled with so many awkward moments??

why did I invite Jeremy to this fucking show in the first place?

Tom called me last night. I think he treats me better than any boyfriend I've ever had, and he's not even dating me.

Tom, I can't figure out why you're so amazing. I can't. You're so sweet. So genuine. You treat me so well. And you're cute. And you're incredibly social. And you're friends with all females. And you've never dated anyone at Carolina. In fact, you've dated one girl before. Ever. You'd have no trouble getting a date, epsecially here. And you want to date me for some reason. And in my mass state of confusion at the end of the previous year, you want what I want.

You wanted to stay friends over the summer. Just friends, when you're four hours away. That's what I want.

What does that mean? I mean, I like not having the burden of a "boyfriend". It creates expectations and work.

But when we ended the year the way we did. When we talked about everything. When we put it all out on the table. It's pretty clear that when school starts again we want to start something.

I like distraction. I want male attention over the summer. I have guys who could be that.

But would that make me unfaithful? If I started dating someone else (I mean, a boyfriend, not just a hookup), would I be just like the other girl he told me about?

and I want something to happen with Jeremy. But I