I know she gets mad when I do this... but if I could do something about it, I would. If I could stop caring, trust me, I would. I have every right to be upset though! She spends every second she can with him and she's leaving in two days. She's leaving and I can't seem to get her away from him. I haven't gotten to hangout with her alone at all since she's been home. And last night was fun, but everything's different now. It's different and, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to be okay with that. He's first now.... he's first and I'm second, and I don't like it. I don't like knowing that she would rather hangout with him than me. I don't like knowing that she's not 100% happy without him there. I don't like knowing that I don't make her happy anymore. Not like he does. She might call me her "best friend", but what's that mean anymore? I don't know what I am to her anymore. I feel like if I stopped being there, it wouldn't matter... because she has him... and that's enough for her now. It's almost like having me is some kind of bonus for her... and that's all. To anyone else this all probably seems ridiculous. And you're probably thinking to yourself, "how could she think this, she means more to Ali than that." And maybe you're right, maybe I do... but it doesn't show. When she's with him, it seems like she could care less about me, or anyone else. And don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy... I do... it just sucks, because I feel like I'm not one of those things that makes her happy anymore... and I want so bad to be one of those things. I just miss her... all the time. Even when I'm with her... because, even then, I don't really have her. He's always there, and when he's there, HE has her... he has all of her... all of her attention... all of her everything. And she's leaving... she's my best friend and she's leaving... and I'm staying... and I don't want to. I want to go with her, but I can't... and I hate it... I hate it more than anything. --------------------------------------------- After you left this morning, her and I were still eating and he called... and she told him he could come over... of course. And it bothered me... because she's going to be with him all night... she's going to be with him all night and she still told him to come over. She wasn't even with me for a half an hour. I figured her and I could hangout for a while... without him... I needed to talk to her, I wanted to talk to her... to hangout with my best friend... without him for once... but she couldn't even do that. She had to be with him. So, we waited for him to get there... we waited and, although I was upset that he was even coming... I tried not to show it, and I played with her... we played with her DS... and he got there... and I was tired... she knew I was tired, and that I didn't want to play hoopla, but she did... so the two of them went and played, and I got up and left. She got upset because she supposedly wanted me to stay and play... but I left... I left because I was too tired to play... because I was upset that she told him to come over... because I wanted to hangout with her, without him... because she didn't care. I left because, overall, she simply didn't care. She didn't care to take the time to see that I miss her... I miss her and I need her... and she didn't see... she DOESN'T see. So I left. And now she's with him... she's with him... and I'm sitting here... I'm sitting here doing nothing... I'm sitting here doing nothing all because I miss her... all because I miss her and she's so blinded by him that she doesn't see it.