To Niki, I think I figured out why I'm so scared. Why I've been so crazy the past couple days and why I've been pushing you away. It's because I know that I'm not okay here. I'm away from a place that's been my home for over half my life... and people that I love. I miss everything that I left behind, everyday... and I know you will too. That's what scares me... because I'm not okay here, so how can I expect you to be? How can I expect you to pact up all your stuff and move here to be with me, and be okay leaving everything behind? Everything that you've ever known. I know you love me. But it's going to be hard. So hard, that sometimes I worry. I know you say you want to be with me forever... and I feel the same... but I don't feel like I'm good enough to make you okay here. You say I am, but I know how hard it is to be away from family and friends. In a place that you're so unfamiliar with that you wonder how it could ever feel like home. I'm in love with you. And I can't wait to start our life together. It's what I want, mor than anything else. For you to be here with me... everyday. I hate missing you. I hate being away from you. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. When you're not with me, I feel like a part of me is missing... and I can't breathe. I don't feel alive when I'm not with you. It's almost like there's no purpose for my day. I have no one to wake up next to. No one to come home to. No one at all. And I need you. You make me okay. You make me feel like I have a reason to live. You're the love of my life. The person I live for.