I need her Em. I need her here with me. I know you already know that. But it hurts. I came home from work today expecting to see her here, waiting for me, like she was all last week. But she wasn't. I came upstairs to my room and when I opened my door, she wasn't there. I knew she wouldn't be... but I wanted her to be. I wanted her there, just like she was a couple days ago. I would walk in, and she'd be laying there. Sometimes she'd still be asleep, and other times she'd look up at me, when she heard me come in, and she'd have the biggest smile on her face... and the moment I saw that smile, I knew how much she had missed me... and it reminded me of how much I had missed her throughout the day at work, and at the same time, how happy I was to see her. I got to come home to her... and it was like we were married. Like that was gonna happen for the rest of our lives. And everytime I walked into my room last week and I saw her, and her smile... I was okay. For the first time that whole day, I was fully okay. I wasn't missing her... I wasn't wearing a mask... I wasn't pretending to be anything. I was just... okay. And it felt so good. She makes me feel so good. So happy. I don't know how she does it... or how it's possible for someone to make you feel the way that she makes me feel... but that's how it is. It's what she does to me. And I want that for the rest of my life. I want her. I need her. I love her. And it kills me that Ali and Corey are trying to take that away from me. I've been sick to my stomach all day, worrying about whether or not they're gonna let her move in. And I cried when I got home from work today. I sat on the floor in my room and I balled my eyes out. Then I cried more a little bit ago. It's too hard, and if they don't end up letting her move in, I don't think I can do it. I can't be here without her. I can't go without seeing her for 3 weeks at a time. I can't. I'm not strong enough. I am with other things... but not this. This hurts too much. Being away from her like this... it hurts so much. And it's killing me.