I'm not going to pretend I know exactly how you're feeling right now, because I don't... and I'm also not going to try and tell you that I've gone through this before, because I haven't... ANNNND I'm not going to act like I have all the right answers, because I definitely don't. I am going to be honest with you though, because it's all I know how to do right now... and maybe it's all you need. Yes, Jared is sweet and he's a great guy... but is he the right guy for you? I think you already know the answer to that question... I think you always have. So that's all I'm going to say about that... for right now at least. Brad's also sweet and he's also a great guy. A great Christian guy for that matter... which is a major plus. So you have to ask yourself, who do you want? Which guy has a better chance at making you happy. Not just superficial happy though... real happy. The kind of happy that you deserve. The kind of happy that you've been too afraid to let yourself have. I think it's time you stopped being so afraid. Let yourself feel something real for once. You've been cheating yourself out of happiness for so long now that I think God's finally stepping in and telling you that you can't run forever. He wants you to be happy... and He's tired of you settling for less. Whatever happens... whatever you decide... make sure it's what you want. That's all that matters. Everything else can be dealt with later.