chance at happiness

I've come to realize that I like my dreams better than my reality. I look forward to falling asleep at night now because I don't have to hide who I am in my dreams - I don't have to carry this secret around with me because everybody already knows about it. And things happen in my dreams that I want more than anything else to happen in real life - but these things could never happen in real life. Sometimes I wish I never had to wake up. I wish I could live in my dreams, instead of my reality. It seems so much easier - so much better. ---------------------- People always say that loving someone and having them love you back in the same way is the greatest feeling in the world. But I've come to realize that love isn't always like that - it can't always be like that. But I wish it could. I wish that when you loved someone they automatically loved you back, just as much. But I know that if love were really like that, it wouldn't be true. So I'm stuck. I'm stuck in a place where I don't want to be - and as much as I try, I can't seem to leave. Dr. Meredith Grey: "Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more." --------------------------------- Feelings don't always change when you want them to change. They don't just go away when you want them to go away. Sometimes they never do. Sometimes you just have to learn to deal with them in your own way - whatever way you know how - and move on. You might never love someone in the same way - or love someone as much. But you have to try. At least if you find somebody else there's a chance at happiness. Which is all you can ask for.
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you may not know this because I don't show it quite as much as I should, but you help a lot. and I'm really really lucky to have the friends that I do and I probably shouldn't take them for granted as much as I do. well what i'm trying to say is I flippin love you