Lately I've felt disconnected from everything and everyone I've ever known. I'm here in this place that doesn't feel like home. It feels like I'm just here temporarily and soon I'll be going back to what I know. Where I've always felt comfortable and safe. But that's the thing. It was safe there in Marietta with my family and you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm suppose to feel this way. And if so, when does it go away? When do I start feeling like I belong here? When do I start feeling comfortable and safe without my family? Without you? I don't see it happening. Not when all I ever think about is how much I miss feeling like I belong somewhere. I miss Marietta so much that it hurts. I'm physically hurting, and I can't make it stop. It's constant. I miss feeling okay. I miss smiling and it being real... it meaning something. I miss hanging out with you and our group of friends. I miss actually HAVING a group of friends. I miss being apart of something so sacred and special. Our group of friends was so important to me. But I didn't realize it as much at the time. I didn't realize how I was taking that for granted. But now that it's gone, I want it back more than anything. I want you back. Our late night talks. Our inside jokes. Our crazy adventures in my car. Everything. All that we knew. All that we had together. And not just that. Not just us. I also miss Lauren. I miss the way we all never stopped caring so much about her, no matter what she did. I miss how I was the only one that understood her half the time, and why she did all that she did. And I miss my family. Being away from my parents has made me realize how much I looked up to them. And I always thought it was my mom. But I now realize that my dad was and is still someone that I admire the most. And I miss him. I miss his jokes and the way that him and I had this special way of understanding each other. We didn't always show it, but it was there. And I don't know how to be okay here without all of you. I don't know how to deal with not having anyone anymore. Nothing's the same. And I can't explain how much I want everything back. How I would give anything to be okay again. I want that, more than anything.