"Sometimes i wonder if anything's absolute anymore. Is There Still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable,left to interpretation, grey. Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it, cause we're faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes things simply catch up to us." --------------------------------------------- I know I already told you this but Ali thinks that I don't need to be in a relationship right now. She said I'm rushing into things, and that I did with both Kadi and Andrea. So I don't know, maybe she's right. Actually, she is right. But for some reason I need someone right now. I know that's crazy, but it's true. I feel like I've become a lesbian version of Lauren... and I know that's awful to say, but it's also true. Very true! I feel like I can't do this alone. Maybe that's why I've let Kadi come back into my life... and why I've practically chosen to look past the fact that Andrea cheated on me. I guess I'm desperate? If that's even the right word for it. I mean, I really care about Andrea, maybe even too much... but any normal person would just walk away. Or at least that's what I think would happen. So I guess I'm not normal? I don't know though. I gave my whole self to her. Everything that I have... and I trusted that she wouldn't hurt me... but she definitely did. And I should walk away, but for some reason I can't? Which is bad... for so many reasons. Most of which, I can't even explain. I feel like if I walk away now, I'll be leaving a piece of my heart... a piece that I'll never be able to get back. And I know that sounds cliche, but I don't care, because it's true. I let her in, in a way that I've never let anyone else in... let alone, this quickly. She already knows so much about me, and I know so much about her, that it'd be crazy to walk away now. We've both already put so much into it... and it'd all be for nothing. So I don't know what to do. I have NO idea. -------------------------------------- "There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back."