So now living in Louisiana is defianetly a huge change for me but its all just eh. im getting accustomed. just want to have some friends. i hate that part. work is fun. it gets to be a little be crazy sometimes where i want to punch someone in the face. but its all drunk people. some are just a little to creepy that i want to handle. but i mange. i make some good money. which is nice. as far as future and what i want out of life. i have been hoping to get into school for dnr. ughh something i actually get excited thinking about. one thing that i have noticed in myself is that after being with matt for 3 years and then our relationship just ended. we both love eachother. thing is i dont love him like i used to. i wonder how that must feel for a person. it must suck.... sorry matt but it just didnt work for us. your not the one. and i cant keep hurting myself trying to make you feel ok again. whatever he is up too. just hope he is okay. now it seems as though i miss having that one person i actually felt like hanging out with or talking to or actually... liking. im so picky and one thing a person does can make me not like them... almost feel a hate for them? I know im only 19 now but feels like im behind? should i have met my highschool sweetheart? been done with college in a few years. get a home. get a dog. get married have some kids.??? what the hell. why does it seem like thats all we as human beings think about. I try and try and focus on just one day at a time. believe me i do accomplish that goal from time to time. but im always in my head, where do i go next. why am i here? im one of so many. =?