if you know me you know me.... you know that when i fall i fall HARD. i try not to fall at all. for fear that falling with only lead to me hurting. i jump to conclusions get anxious and upset. my life was a hell of alot easier when i just slept with boys i like and didnt let my emotions or feelings affect anything. well i let down my wall. and i'm a fucking idiot for it. i think....i dont know anymore. i like this boy....alot. hes smart and funny and flirty and cute and better then any other asshole or dbag i've ever been with. i let my wall down and i let him in...and then he kinda stood me up tonight. and then he had a valid reason...and now i'm hoping we can make plans again. i hate falling and i wish i wasnt falling i wish i wasnt involved and didnt have feelings for him. if i could turn them off i would. i'm waaaaaayyyyy to afraid of being hurt again. its happened sooo many times before. i just want this to work. please let it work. my wall is temporarily going back up.....at least for a little bit. just untill i'm not afraid anymore....this is tooo similar to ty n jay and i just i dont know i really dont know...i want someone to do it for me.