have you ever had the feelings that your the number one target for all the mean things your friends say? i know i have. i never really let it get to me till now i guess thats what 4 years of being treating like dirt can do to you. i know the people who are mean to me have a million reasons why they do it but none of them a justifyable, they have no way to say that its ok to treat me like shit cuz they think i'm a compulsive lier. its just that they dont even stop fr one second and think of what their words and actions are doing to me, they dont think of how i feel when they say things actually i think some of them dont even realize that i'm a living breathing human being with feelings. i know its harsh to say but i think its the case with some of them. i've been through a lot of shit and i've done a lot of things and i've done things just to spite people, thats me thats the way i am and if my friends dont like it i can help it, but thats no reason to treat me like shit and make me wanna crawl in a hole and die. and i know thats the cowards way out but theres no other way out, but i cant kill myself know i have mike and he means to the world to me and i wouldnt ever wanna leave for any reason. its just that its hard to be and my friends have no clue what its like to be me, they dont know what its like to live a day in my life, it aint easy. i just wish that they would stop what their doing and realize what their hurting me and losing one of their friends....not that they seem to consider me a friend. -kristina