heres some journal entrys from my written journal. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm jelous of her she got you even if she didnt want you she got to hug you kiss you touch you and I.... well I got nothing I should have been in her place all those times hugging you kissing you touching you being close to you its all I want all I've thought about for weeks is how is I was thin like her pretty like her had everything she has but was still me i might have you but i'm not her so i cant have you and i hate that cuz i think i love you and i dont wanna go through with you what i went through with him I dont think i can take it another round of heart break another million tears cried i cant do that....not again so i guess i'll just give up, moved on pretend like you dont exsist its easyer to get by knowing i stopped trying before you hurt me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ as the light fades the stars come up and the moon glows and tomorrow doesnt look any better than today ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the rain pours down the thunder booms the sky lights up with a flash of light i run out side in my PJs soaked to the core i dance in the rain i scream to the clouds the never ending question.......WHY ME???? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ what people say "I hate the rain" i ask them "have you ever dance in the rain with the one you love, have you ever stood there looked them in the eye and shared that magical rain soaked kiss....i have and thats why i love the rain" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ never thought i'd say i'm sorry never thought i'd be the one to let you down mmmmm...when i look out the window there doesnt seem to be anyone around. and i, i think i'll change my ways so all your words get noticeed tomorrows a brand new day tomorrows a new day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ if every one in the world married someone from a different race, within one generation there would be no predjudice ~ Thirteen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Cory, A wise friend once said to me; "its your mistakes that break us, but its also our mistakes that make us the people that we are to day." thast got me thinking of some of the possible mistakes i made with you. well now here it comes one of the hardest things i'll ever say to you, i wanna thank you for being the mistake that broke me, i wanna thank you for being the mistake that made me the person i am today. with out me makeing my mistkae iwth you and you doing to me what you did i wouldnt be the sameperson. thank you for everything you did to me and for makeing me part of what i am today. yours truely Kristina Piana ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -X