well well well what have we here another week has passed and still things are just as bad as ever. nothing really eventfull has happened she and him are going on a date this weekend, aint that just peachy. i know i say it doesnt bug me, but it does ALOT! i mean fucking hell she knew i liked him i told her how much i liked him because he accepts my past and i could be my self around him i didnt have to watch what i said, i found a guy who could have made me happy. but she had to take it away thinking i wouldnt care, and of course me being the great friend i am i said i didnt care, well guess what i do care. what kind of best friend does something like this. you know sometimes it feels like she doesnt want me to be happy, like she cant stand seeing me enjoy life. i mean fucking christ i deserve this after the shit i've been through in my life. You have no clue what i've gone through you couldnt even imagine some of the shit i've delt with. drug addictions, rape, alochol abuse, the only person who ever understood me is dead and you dont care. why dont you want me to be happy? is it that you cant stand not being the center of attention or that you just dont want me to be happy, did i do something wrong to have to suffer this much in my life? i just dont get it. you said we're both happy, tell me how that works out. im not happy i'm fucking a guy who while he cares about me doesnt really CARE about me, no one seems to these days, the only person who really cared about me is gone but you dont care it always about you, isnt it? i hope he plays you and hurts you and i dont think you'll fit in with them because you wont, you cant just become part of that group, you have to earn it, and trust me i can have you outta there so fucking fast, i know people, they can ruin things for you and him and they will fuck you up! NO ONE messes with Pops baby sister and gets away with it!! NO ONE! in other knews that doesnt invole little bitchs, its been 11 months and i still dont sleep and i still cry. 1 more month and i'll have gone my first year without him, kinda scary to think its been that long....im not looking forward to thanks giving dinner, gramms makes us say what were thankfull for, im not thankfull anything, i mean really whats to be thankfull for, i hate the fucking holiday, its sad and depressing, and this year i choose not to celebrate it! -Heart Broken