well for those of who you didnt know i finally broke down and am now sort of seeing christian. yea i dont know about that boy, the things i hear about his rep and how he cheats and uses girls kinda scares me, which is why were in the "testing phase" he told me that hes changed and hes not the same way he used to be and he would never hurt me like mike did, but still in the back of my mind im convinced that hes gonna hurt me. i mean he already left me down. on saturday he was supposed to come to a BBQ were having at our house with all the guys and their gf's and what not, but i check my voicemail today and its him "i cant come on saturday, i dont know why but i just cant, i'll call you tonight" he doesnt know why my ass!!!! i know exactly why he "cant" come, its cuz he doesnt want to because he knows the guys are gonna be their and 4 of them are guys i've either slept with or dated, or both and he knows that they would ask him questions, and hes scared. what he doesnt understand tho is that the guys are just trying to make sure i dont get hurt again, they want to make sure that the guy i'm dating is good enough for me, but he just thinks its weird taht i'm still good friends with my ex bf's and that their all comming over for a BBQ, but waht he desnt get is that these guys are the cloest thing i have to a brother now, and their there for me no matter what. ******************************************** and in other news the play is over, i'm sad to see it end but happy at the same time, thats ALOT of stress that has been lifted off my shoulders now that i'm not there every day after school, i have time to come home and do stuff, oddly enough. been working a big more now its getting hectic because i'm leanring all these new things that i didnt really wanna learn but i am anyways. ooo another new thing on the guy from i'm working on asking him to grad. whos him youmay ask well its justin, as i've told most of you. i'm working on, not quiet there yet but i will be soon enough so yea. i'm thinking of ending things with christian, him totally ditching on saturday is a BIG sign of his real character and lets me see the future, which with him i dont think there is one -kristina.