today is the first of october, that means in nine days it'll be two years. two years sure flys by fast when your missing someone you love everyday. - have some composure, where is your posture, your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong - i dont know why but lately i've been feeling weird, sad, but not. like im just distanced from the world. like i can't seem to feel anymore. all i've been feeling lately is anger, anger and hate. for no reason. people try to show me they love me or that they care, and i still push them away. i'm broken, nothing seems to fix me. i dont know but sometimes, most of the time, i just wanna be alone. i dont like it when people look at me with those eyes, especially this time of the year. those eyes, their always full of pitty, remorse, and pain. why the fuck should your eyes have pain in them? why are you feeling pain for me? I CAN FEEL PAIN JUST FINE MYSELF THANKS! i dont need you to feel it for me. i dont need you to tell me how sorry you are. why do you always appologize? what are you sorry for? you didnt do anything wrong. so please just stop giving me that look, those eyes. stop telling me your sorry. stop acting like you know what i feel. you don't. you may have lost a grandparent, but its not the same. its different when you spend almost seventeen years sleeping in the room right next to them. when they get to watch you grow up every day of your life. its different when its the only person you ever truely cared about.... -kristina