Okay, I know it seems like I talk about Matt every waking second of my life, but you see we're having problems. He called me (which he never really does) and is like "I think we should be friends". Well, Julie doesn't take this very well and starts bawling that second. I know, I'm emotional. And we talk about it for a little while and he says that he doesn't want to break up, that he really wants us to "slow down". Considering all the shit we did on the bus, I can understand. The thing is that I have never been with anyone who just wants to be with me. They've always wanted sex or sexual stuff from me and I thought that was normal. So when me and Matt got together, it didn't take long for things to heat up. I never really thought about it until he said something and I realized that I did want a relationship with him that wasn't revolved around getting some booty. I asked him if he still loved me and he said he did... but I don't know. What if he's just saying that to make me feel better? He talks about us staying together forever as in marriage and kids and shit and that sometimes scares me. I have always been open to love...I just didn't think it would happen this fast. In high school of all places. I'm in love with the kid, that's for sure. He told me that he's scared that after I graduate in 2 years, I'm gonna go off to college and meet someone new and dump him..just like that. I told him that when I say I love a person, I mean it. And I do love him. Love is a forever thing for me and he knows that. God, relationships are fucking hard. Thanks for listening, yet again.