hey everyone! this is julie's buddy stephanie!! i love jeffrey michael hayes. and julie. =] bye! I love my stephie! I only have like two more days left before xmas holidays!! I'm excited cuz this Friday I'm supposed to chilax at Matt's house with him and his cousin from Dallas. The weekend was okay...it was very family oriented. Matt was grounded but he actually called me and we talked...steadily becoming more of a normal relationship. I feel funny. I don't really feel anything. This has been happening a lot lately and then all of a sudden, I'm hit with all of these fucked up emotions...old ones about Justin, new ones about Matt, some weird ones about Rob and Josh and Marcus. What's wrong with me? I don't understand this. Or maybe I do and I just don't want to realize it. I'm not in love with Matt anymore...I know this...I've realized this. I love him though and that counts for something. I don't ever want him to know the effect he has had on me...cuz it will hurt him, I know it will. The scars haven't gone away...which sucks becuz they're in such a seen spot. My others haven't scarred too bad and they eventually go away. Idk... my thoughts are very scatterbrained today. Dude, last night I watched an episode of Southpark where Wendy breaks up with Stan and becomes very distraught and joins the "goth nonconformists" kids and it cracked me up! Omg..it was so funny. But by the end, Butters makes Stan realize that life doesn't have to suck just becuz you get your heart broken...cuz Butters' so-called gf from Raisins broke up with him but he was only a little sad. Funny Shit. I love Southpark..it makes me happy. But yeah I'm gonna go...sorry about the monotonously long and stupid entry.