i fucked up. i drank. a lot. with everyone. i do believe i kissed kelsie and told danielle that i was in love with kelsie. and of course kelsie's fucking boyfriend was there as well. i was so wasted. but honestly with alcohol in my system, it's really fucking hard for me to not be a lesbian. last night was outrageous. started off innocently enough with a sparks, then graduated to tuaca bombs, jello shots and more sparks. it was fun til kelsie left then the fucking drama started. sara showed up and everyone was okay until her stupid ass wanted to leave while she was still drunk so lindsey took her keys. her and lindsey were yelling at each other and out of nowhere comes courtney fucking punching sara in the jaw. glasses fall off, sara falls on her butt and it's fucking mayhem. at that point, i was so drunk i couldn't fully comprehend what was going on except lindsey was upset cuz jerod yelled at her for drinking, i got upset cuz courtney punched sara and i was going to have to fucking deal with it. and jess was balling all night for some reason. i wish kelsie would have stayed and we could have made out. thennnn right after that austin calls. i'm crying, obviously inebriated and he can tell. i told him the truth becuz i knew he could tell. he's not mad, just insanely disappointed. i hate this. i love getting drunk, but i fucking hate drama. and then jess wants to drive home in her drunken state so i follow her and she drives into a fucking ditch. someone calls the cops, he shows up and he's actually really nice. he calls a tower and the guy tows jess' car 100 feet to her house and i have to pick up the 75 dollar bill. madness. it's okay though. i don't mind taking care of my friends, as long as they can return the favor. i don't want to drink anymore. cuz i don't want to lose austin. and i don't want kelsie to find out that i like her. her mouth. lol it's too much.