after everything that happened between us, i wrote not one sentence about chad. unless i'm looking in the wrong place. anyways, if anything could fuck my life up it would be him seeping into the back of my head and fucking EVERYTHING up. "i couldn't be happier in this pic." i beg to fucking differ. goddamnit. and no sex? not with chad, with austin. that's a fucking joke. for being with me for so long, he doesn't even contemplate odd it is for me to deny myself sex. in any way, shape or form. i need to join sexaholics anonymous. i know it's a problem... but it's not a bad one to have in my opinion. why do i have to be the dude right now?! freaking out about the lack of sex in my life?! it's not normal! or right! i forget this is why i need to be a lesbian. fuck life. again.