Why am i such a bad friend to her? all she wants is to talk to me and i can't bear the thought of trying to calm her down AGAIN and never, ever succeeding. i think the reason why i don't answer is because she makes me feel like a fucking failure. all the time. i don't know... i just can't hear her cry one more time without freaking out. I have my own shit going on anyway. austin ditched me last night. for like one of the first times in our relationship, he just didn't want to hang out even though we had plans already. it hit me really hard. i don't want to get into it but he's having a really hard time with school and work and the fact that we're both currently broke. life's getting in the way of our perfectly good, well-developed love for each other. i hate it. ttyl.