I wanna die. That's all I want right now. My mom just came into my room and told me she was disapointed in me and how lazy I am. Made me feel like shit. I know it's the truth but right now really wasn't the best time to tell me. Why won't he call me? Why won't he talk to me? Why am I so easy to ignore? Why, why, why? I have all these fucking questions that can't be answered. No one ever wants to be with me. No one ever wants to stay. All I've ever wanted was love. To be loved by someone who's not ashamed of me and not afraid to love me. I want a normal life. With normal relationships and normal feelings. Not these suicidal ones all of the time. Matt. Oh how I thought you loved me. I guess I was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. What is love anyway? How should I know? I always think I know but I don't. I don't fucking know anything. I don't know anything about anything. My mother hates me, my father hates me, my boyfriend fucking hates me. Why should I stay? No reason to. Besides my friends. My friends love me, right? I hope so. How did life get so complicated all of a sudden? How did I go from ecstatically happy to extremely suicidal in a matter of days?