She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
-Lord Byron-
the last thing i want for him to be is "oh, just another boyy i used to like." he is everything i want. but i realize myy friend likes him too. she tries keeping me from sitting near him. &i don't know. it's easyy to feel..jealous. but i'd be willing to give him up for her happiness. she always complains about not having a boyfriend, youu know? &i'd be okayy without one.
ohkayy. so i lied. i can't give him up.
but right now, it seems like the easier option.
boys are weird. most of them, at least. whenever theyy get angryy//pissed off or something, theyy shut youu out. &there i am trying to figure out what's wrong, trying to fix it, or at least make him smile again. but he shuts me out. for a week. &when he finallyy talks to me again, it's like nothing ever happened.
i don't know. i don't get it.
he tripped me todayy. and it was...dumb. i don't know. becuase i reallyy tripped. haha. &almost fell. he said sorryy though, but i don't know.
from what i read in his xanga...i think he's trying to get over another girl. or something. i'm not sure.
it kind of makes me sad. &even think that maybe i should just back off while he tries to figure things out.
but he is the one who has unknowinglyy helped me finallyy get over a reallyy big hurt..after half a year of letting it get to me. and i kind of want to be the one to help him.
..even though after two times alreadyy of me trusting a boyy too much &telling him some of myy deepest secrets, and then having them not tell me anything back. i know not to sayy too much. especiallyy since
so yea. i just wish that this boyy, justin, would trust me as i trust him. i feel reallyy open around him. &tell him everything that pops up in myy mind whenever i talk to him. of course, everything but the fact that i like him. xD
too bad youu&ayse can't meet up tomorow. but some other dayy, yes? (=