I try to look at myself... and I smile at how messed up I must seem. I hate feeling that there could be something wrong with me, that effectively there is something wrong with me! ...I had one thing in life going well for me - but now it's turning around and going the other way. This summer won't even feel like a summer! It all feels like a lapse within life... what am I in - reality or just a dream - well, what was I in before this? Dreams are reality, reality are dreams; the difference being that reality we are in control of, though that control is like walking on fire! Tred too hard and you'll feel the consequences of shame, hurt, sorrow... but tred finely and you'll enjoy the benefits of envy, praise and pleasure. Haha... I talk shit sometimes don't I!! Oh well. Nevermind then...