And that’s what Belize showed me, everywhere I went felt like home. Here in England, home to me is this 3 bedroom house which I now live in by myself with in a retrospective sense, very little to do to keep my heart humble and inspired. This house in some respect is nothing more than a place to keep shelter – but I don’t take it for granted. I need to get out there – really get out there is the lesson I’ve learnt. Even when transit in New York I got homesick, not because I was missing England but because I was missing America. I’ve always had a love for America – not sure why exactly – but this time I really missed it… perhaps what I was really missing in America was that certain someone. When in Belize I met an American lady who lives in Missouri. She gave me her email to keep in touch and said if ever I come over to that part that she would host me for my stay.. how cool!! lol When in Belize I did exactly as stated. I relaxed, I saw family, I had fun, but foremost I gained perspective on life. I touched down midday Saturday and was greeted by my cousin Kenya and her Husband. It took no longer than twenty minutes before spoiling my tummy with Belizean cuisine and wow had I missed the Latin American dish of ‘rice and red beans’ and chicken with either coleslaw or plantain on the side - just to be exact! So the first few days were spent with my cousin and on Sunday she took me to my Nan’s to celebrate ‘Mothers Day’. Having lost three children in the time of 7 months, it was clear to see that this day didn't have much meaning to my Nan – she cried briefly, but was the only brief tear she shared while I was there. She was looking up for the rest of them time I was there. That evening I had gone back to my cousin’s but Tuesday I returned to my Nan’s again. During the day I didn’t get up to much, I spent time with my Nan, had family visit during the day or I myself would go and visit family. The majority of other times in the day I would lie in a hammock and try to think. I say try because the beauty of a hammock to me is that it prevents you from thinking. It must be the way laying in one moulds your body or perhaps the rocking from side to side, but I couldn’t think at all. Not being able to think – not a worry in the World – can you imagine it?! But thinking is what I needed to do and eventually I broke through the tranquillity of being in Belize. In the evenings a family friend across the street would take me out for the night either to dinner or late night site seeing – sometimes both. She is actually the ex-fiancée of my brother. The Saturday of my second weekend in Belize I went back to my cousin’s for the agricultural fair they had. It was laden with rides, events, promotional stalls and the obvious – a lot of people – that really made me feel at home. The next day Sunday my friend across the street gathered up a few of her friends and including me, we went to an Island in Belize called ‘San Pedro’ a tourist and residential Island. You can take either a boat or plane there – we opted for the plane – and when there we toured the Island, had brunch, took to the beach and had some fun on the local jet-ski’s. That experience was for sure a highlight. To be in the water like that is almost indescribable; the ride on the depths of the ocean with a push of the jet-ski on my back felt comfortable yet powerful as if the gentle hand of God was pushing me – I wanted more and the feel of speed brought out the child in me. On that day we came back in the later afternoon and the journey back home to my Nan’s was accompanied by the sight of a sunset in the horizon. Later that evening after I had showered, my Nan had wanted me to go to the hospital with her. She had said to me she wanted to see the child of a friend she knows; I thought newly born. The hospital was only around the corner from my Nan’s house, but as we neared we saw an ambulance that had been there to drop off victims of a car accident which had been reported on the radio the next day. We walked through the small hospital building, walked into a children’s unit and in there one child lay. A fifteen month baby was in a bed, but she was not like what we would call a normal and healthy baby. She was disfigured, but unless such is the way of my naivety, I didn’t see a disfigured child. I saw a beautiful baby girl looking at me with a smile inside her eyes and heart. I could’ve stood there for a while admiring how special and beautiful she was. Someone else would’ve questioned strongly that such is what I was actually doing, but regardless, I still wondered why when she could’ve with any other person, my Nan chose for me to go with her to see this child. But I’m glad she did, the beauty of a child always touches my heart. During my last week I didn’t do much different to the week before other than in the last two days when I finally spent time with the thoughts of my mom, love, and my vision for the future - the things I needed perspective on. Was I ever going to get over the pain of my mom? Why do I react weirdly to love or the possibility of it? Am I going to fail my second year at University and if so then what will I do? What is my intention really and how do I go about it? Before I went to Belize, perspective on life is what I wanted and on the drive home from having arrived safely back in London, I knew I had found the perspective I had been looking for. I felt inspired.