University is finished for another year. One more year to go. I am not excited that the year is over - merely pleased - and now pondering over what to do with my summer. In recent weeks I've begun to contemplate the reason why I'm at university and studying what I am. I can't remember why I'm at university to be honest. After my mom, my life and intentions had changed dramatically and I felt like I should drop out so to pursue such intentions. Eventually I got over this wanting to drop out, but only in the same recent weeks trying to remember why I'm at uni, I began to feel again that I should drop out. This time, it was never to the extent of turning thought into action; just thought! But why? I said to myself today, "am I regaining the 'superhero' complex (in a certain extent) that I once upon a time had". I believe yes and in a way it feels assuring. I've believed that with a dream in life - that dream being what you want - sometimes you have to sacrifice that dream so to live the life you have been given the responsibility for living. Then I believed that it's not for me to know whether this sacrifice really has to take place, that maybe I can have both - the responsibility and the dream. But then I believed that if I could have the choice of living that dream or sacrificing it, that I would instead sacrifice the dream for my responsibility. I know of some of the most beautiful women to walk this earth and know that many more do, but whomever my heart had wanted, my heart can really only belong to one woman - and not in fear - but in acceptance, with this beautiful woman, when she died, my love for a woman went with her. I thought my greatest fear was not being able to achieve my dream and ultimately having to sacrifice my dream, but in truth, my fear was having to accept that the dream would never happen anyway. Maybe that's what real fear is; Not the fear of what it is that keeps you back from being able to achieve something, but the fear of having to accept that it was never destined for you to achieve in the first place. Then again, ‘people should know when they're conquered’. Would I? Would you? Maybe fear is in accepting that you are destined, so what you fear really is the responsibility and possibly the change required of you! Perhaps. 'You have a dream, then go for it' they say. The ability to balance life is quite a great challenge that I raise a smile to for its worth. Not all dreams are meant to come true. I guess that's why people who have a dream have stories that are so worthy to be talked about in life – whether they achieved the dream or not, they still went for it. But even when you accept the fear, it doesn't replace the hope or the dream you once had. You still keep hoping; you still keep dreaming. In some respects you still keep in fear. Fears hold us back so accept them as you may. That will provide you with the ability to move forward. The next step whether the fear is of being destined or not, is in asking, “Am I conquered”?