Even the best fall down sometime

by someguy
Not a notion a perfectionist would like to hear. I find alot of the time I question my abilities. In projects I constantly debate with myself over my capabilities to complete the task in adequate fashion that often by the time the project is due, I find myself with little time to complete it, lol. Worse than that though is when constantly second guessing the things I say to people. I often stress on how the receiver perceived what I said, that what I said was not perceived good enough. So often I sit about anticipating the outcome of whether my words were in fact helpful, funny, intelligent, or rather then opposite for each one. In terms of the first problem; I remember my mom always saying that I would achieve great things and reminding me to always be the best.. not her exact words, but such is what she implied. So whenever I feel I'm questioning my capabilities, I remind myself of what my mom said to me; it spurs me on.. and yes, I do find myself extracting the best out of my abilities thereafer. The second problem though. Well; I just don't know how to work that one out, lol. Like a perfectionist, whatever I do never seems good enough, usually because anything I do, I need for every fragment of its creation to be spot on in the right place.. the words of which I speak, the things of which I do and the moments in which I do them. Perfectionism is not funny (saying so as I smile, lol) ..it does eat at you alittle.. I was thinking to myself a while ago.. when life is over.. will I have conquered my perfectionism and basked in the highlights of my life, or despite whatever achievements I have, will I question the very life I led and mutter upon my own breath.. "I wish I could do it again... maybe a second time it would be better".
Read 24 comments
Is it strange that i do not wish to sign off now, but stay on and talk to you? lol.
i don't agree with you, crazy guy. hehe couldn't resist, you opened the door on that one. ;] anyhow, i definitely see what you mean. i think perfectionism is a great thing in some ways, and not so great in others. as long as there's a balance and it doesn't become something solely motivated by avarice or ill will, it can be quite helpful. (= don't be afraid to make mistakes, too, btw - sometimes, they're the absolute best teachers. ;]
that entry sounds so incredibly . .. human. i think we all have that in us, and i know i sure do; i hope you're able to overcome yours. (= i'm still working on mine; it gets better with persistence. ;]
Just relax and don't let it consume you. I don't know you that well and I already know you can do great things :] May I add you as a friend by the way? You sound pretty sane :P
Thank you so much for the comments, they really helped although we all have never ending issues lol. You sound like a well educated young man (young because I am also 20 lol) and I have to say you have a way with words. Don't worry too much, take it easy. I think we all hesitate once in a while, we all look over twice, or wonder if we are taking the best out of out abilities or using them to the fullest.
overwhelming. I have every intention of sitting down and writing my heart out to you tomorrow evening. There are so many things I have to tell you about. So many things I need to get off my chest and say and you are the only one I can tell. I've been bottling it all up inside ready to burst from the pressure. I hope all is well with you. I miss you & I love you.

:: sarah ::
Hello Jose. I haven't commented on here for a while, but I want to let you know that I still read every word you write. You are amazing & your writing continues to grace my life and inspire me. I feel like an awful person for not being a better friend as of late. We haven't spoken much since before the holiday and that upsets me. We are both so incredibly busy with school and me with work and it's all entirely
Strange question, but do you have msn? It'll be alot easier for talking, this site has a habit of playing up on my laptop! Grr. Lol. Anyway, hows your day been?
Hey! Well, i'm in a good mood, extremley. Finally decided what to do about the ex. Its all done, well, it will be tomorrow. I'm not heading off for a while, but i'm guessing you are. So, i'll talk to you someone time soon i hope. Thanks for the song, i like it. Its cheerful =) And yes, the 'raaah' was a good one =p
So, sweet dreams, dream deep. Hope the night is a peaceful one. Talk soon. -bx
Raaaaaaah!
He makes me write with such power, emotion and soul. But i wonder how much of my soul i've surrendered to him? The depression though, i could do without. I think this relationship is a part of out past, but it was so good then, that we want it to be just as delicous this time. Sweet dreams, dream deep. Night night =) -bxx
He inspires my world. See the darker thoughts? They are him. The entry, 'new worlds' was inspired by someone else. He makes the cliches true though. I loved him once, but now i think we are just try to re-create the past.
Well, work may beckon, so i will bid you goodnight and get some sleep.
So, i repeat, Sweet dreams, dream deep. Goodnight 'someguy' =) -bxx
That is extremley true! So, i'd just like to thank you for helping with my sanity =p lol. Anyway, it could be worse.I'm used to lifes little complications! Hows your complications? Lol.
It just seems strange for a death, a life and for a life, a death. A delicate balance that this world has... I don't believe in relgion, but i believe in love. If you can ever have what you want, it is in love. And you should never just put up with something that'll do, you must fight to find the one who inspires your world, the one who makes the cliche's come true. Yes, i must get some sleep. Sweet dreams, dream deep 'Someguy'. Goodnight xx
Well, i inhabit England too, and am heading to bed myself. Will talk to you soon. Goodnight. x
I get the feeling alot of the time that i am only there because noone will listen, and i shall always care. Sometimes in life, we love the ones we should neglect and neglect the ones we should love...
Strange old world, isnt it?
My eldest brother doesn't have a family, but my other brother does. And yes, i agree, children and something anew. It often seems odd how the world works. My nephew has just been born, last december and now, my grandad is dying... My partner, as it were, well, he isn't the most perfect of people. In this relationship, i've never even entertained the idea of anyone else, even though the relationship is long distance. I treasure him though. but...
i am extremly proud of. I'm lucky, my family is growing and we are all still alive. My great grandsparents are still alive, as are all my grandparents and my parents and all siblings.
I feel so sorry for you, i'd hate to lose my mother. My father, well, i don't wish him dead, but its a complicated story! As for heartbreaks, well, we have to have to have our heart broken to find someone who can fix it. Right now, i need to get rid of the breaker
I'm often losing the plot, along with everything else. I swear, i'd lose my head if it wasnt screwed on!! Lol.
But yes, i do agree with you, i will fight with him until the end. He has four years, minimum, granted, but they reckon in three he will bed bound. If not two. But, i hope we maybe be able to fight it. I shan't give in.
I have two brother and a sister. One of my brothers recently became a father, so i'm now an auntie. Which i must say
I wouldn't call you weak, you don't appear that way to me. You seem strong, free willed. Impulsive. I guess though we just can't give up. And i'd gladly hear of your problems and try to offer some advice, lately i've become a little self absorbed and i hate it. I get bored of myself. And i'd love nothing more than to help someone!
and solutions without ever having to deal with them myself. I consider myself rather fortuante. Although, 3 days after we broke up i got told my grandad had cancer. They don't think they can stop it, but he has four years minimum. It hurt so much though, when i found out. But we carry on, for if we give up, we are lost, and aren't any help to those worse off, and we let others forget of those who have passed on.
I'm so so sorry to hear about your mother. I know for certain it would be impossible to live without mine.
I'm one of those people in live, i've never lost anyone close to me, and the worse thing that ever happened to me is getting my heart broken. Pathectic as it seems, it hurt so much, as i was unfamiliar to such pain. I guess i say i'm used to complications as i have such a big family that i see them go through them, so i learn the problems
Life is meant to be a little twisted, after all that is what makes us strong. For if it were not for mistakes how would we learn? And as for pain, well, it heals a broken heart, as well as breaking it. But anyway...
Hey...
Its nice to know i can talk to someone, its nice to have people around =) Well, my life is ugh, complicated. How's yours doing? Oh, i added you as a friend, is that ok?