Of late, life has felt a little different to how it would usually feel for me. A full feeling of optimism, a higher power and the will to live for a greater good all seem to be a distant memory to the emotions I feel today. Souless and empty is how I presently feel. Though I'm sure these feelings are just exaggerated by last night's lack of sleep. "Destiny is achieved by given choices". A quote of William Bryan I can't help but bring to mind everyday if not at most moments of each given day. The quote becomes a lot to take in the more you repeat it to yourself. Now imagine the attempts in actually trying to make the choices that will take you to an achieved destiny. The ability to keep making such choices - the right choices - is further enduring to say the least; though it's said nothing comes easy. Today I achieved what I would call a 'moment of destiny', because of the choice to pursue my ever apparent ability to have an imagination. I had an 'informal' meeting with 'cfa', a nearby advertising agency. The meeting was to discuss the possibility of organising a work experience placement so I can begin to build a portfolio of practical experience to compliment the not so unexpected mediocre degree I'll soon receive. The meeting did go rather well, but last night's inadequate sense of sleep resulted in a dull tone to my morning, which I could've done without ("stop complaining, Jose"). I attended the 'informal meeting' dressed in no less than a tie, silk cotton white shirt with blue stripes and smart black trousers. The 'Head of Digital' at cfa whom I met, was dressed in what appeared a metrosexual black v-neck t-shirt, olive green shorts and flip flops; all a mere thought for my amusement compared to what I was dressed in. "The will to win is nothing without the will to prepare" said the film 'Speed Racer' and said Juma Ikangaa. I've spent much of the last few days preparing myself with all the knowledge I could so the meeting would not fall short of me bringing something witty and intellectually impressive to the table. Regardless, much of what I did prepare myself for, didn't particularly come up at all, but I didn't lose out. The knowledge will be of much value to a hopeful and unexpected 'next time' in the event I further pursue my ability to have an imagination and thus attend interviews at other adverstising agencies. I should be so lucky. The meeting ended seemingly with the question of "to be or not to be" - thank you Shakespeare - as an apparent unindated number of existing placements and client briefs meant the 'Head of Digital' at CFA would have to get back to me to let me know when and if he would be able to fit me into his apparently busy schedule. Whether he will or won't remains to be known, however, today's moment of destiny yet again opened me up to the realisation as I asked myself, "is this really what I want"? What ever we may do in life, we ultimately live up to a responsibility for what we choose to do and I'm not certain the responsibility of being a 'suit' is the responsibility I'm after. With passion do I loathe conformity; I detest not being my own boss, to not do of my own will and be free in what it is I care to do. I loathe to think because of what someone else wants me to think rather than what I myself need to think in order to reach prosperity in my heart. I see today through hindsight how hard it really is to be what we want in life. That the choices we make is often what determines whether we'll achieve what we want to be or not. If we were to wonder how the great are where they're today, it's likely because as children and through life, they made noble choices to resist the urges not of their heart so to achieve the destiny of where they wanted to be today. If we are sitting today wondering what should've been, either it's a question of the fact we didn't resist those urges or the fact that our destiny is yet to be achieved by a few more given choices, all of which we should expect to be enduring. What today really reminded me though, is that in life, we should do what we know, which is when we feel a will to pursue our heart's knowledge. To make the right choices of what we know is one thing. Whether we make the right choices in achieving the ultimate of what we know, is another. Only then can we say we've found our destiny. The beautiful thing about destiny, however, is that it's what you make of it. And yes... cfa did get back to me - with good news.