1142pm i don't know how to feel. i mean, it's nothing that bad. i can't believe i did that. i lost myy great-grandmother's bracelet. it fell off, and onto the floor. i guess i was just staring at the bracelet, but i couldn't bring myself to move and pick it up. then this guyy picked it up. and he put myy bracelet in his pocket. and later on when i asked for it, the bracelet just wasn't there. omg, it's all myy fault. ellery was being reallyy nice to me and everything, too...even though me losing the bracelet had nothing to do with him. i guess he's reallyy a better friend than i thought? shit, i love that boyy. but still. that bracelet was special. it wasn't veryy prettyy...it was just a simple silver bracelet. myy uncle was a jewelryy maker...he made that for myy great-grandmother and he stamped her chinese name into a heart charm on it. but that was before he died from colon cancer when i was in fourth grade. myy great-grandmother died when i was in fourth grade, too. i watched her as she breathed her last breath. she was the second person to die in front of myy eyes. the first time i met myy great-grandmother, i was kinda scared. she was left paralyzed from a stroke. there were two tubes coming out of her chest: one for breathing, and one for her formula to go through. she was so frail. her head was bent down towards her chest..she was just paralyzed that wayy. and i guess that's what scared me so much. but i talked to her. and she responded. she moved her left arm up...just a mere two inches off of her lap. but it was something. her eyes were still rolled up the the ceiling, but her arm still moved. i never heard her actual voice because myy great-grandmother couldn't do anything but murmur. but i felt like i knew this woman so well. i loved her. but not onlyy because she was part of myy familyy. and now, i no longer have her bracelet. myy wrist feels so bare now...so cold. there is no clicking sound of myy bracelet hitting against the keyboard when i type. i feel like crying, but i just can't bring myself to do so. you know, the veryy dayy before myy great-grandmother died, tears were falling from her eyes when i pointed to the door. she knew that i would have to leave, and that she'd never actuallyy see me ever again. i feel so dead inside. and i know what you're thinking...it's just a stupid bracelet. but i just don't know anymore. it was always something that i counted on. wished on. there were just so manyy memories...