801pm i want him to not make me feel so confused. i want him to listen to me and tryy to understand. i want him to stop using things from the past to tease me. maybe he's too stupid to realize that it hurts me. ii want him to tell me the truth about what he is feeling. i don't want him to lie about himself anymore. i just freaking want to know that myy "best friend forever" is there for me. "forever." [is that too much to ask?] i need to distance myself from disaster. i need to stop depending on things i cannot trust entirely. i need to shut up about myy stupid feelings. i need to find a new best friend that is a girl. maybe that'll just be better for me. i need to smile onlyy when i mean it. i need to scream loud enough to shatter glass. soon.