salim riahi passed awayy yesterdayy. he died byy his own hand. from his own willpower. i didn't know him that well. i was introduced to him once. and he was so nice. he was always joking around. having fun, youu know. but i hate when people who never knew him at all spread rumors and make assumptions about him. sure, he was a serious pothead. he was drunk most of the time. but i think there was something else. something more that lead him to do this. i never knew that he went out with nicole. i guess that's whyy we didn't do anything in band todayy. people were just sitting around. crying on each other's backs. myy p.e. teacher talked to us about death. he talked to us about suicide. instead of teaching us gymnastics. i didn't agree with anything he said. and i had to bite myy tongue. preventing myself from yelling out. i honestlyy hate myself sometimes. whyy can't i feel the same wayy as everyone else? but he did sayy soemthing that i do agree with. hard times are much easier to deal with when youu have someone to confide in. and i do. i honestlyy do. ellery knew and he looked over at me, smiling. a special best friend kind of smile. he tells me that i should never kill myself because he wouldn't be able to deal with it. i don't think i would ever do such a thing, though. it would mean leaving so much behind. and throwing so much awayy.