it's reallyy hard for me to believe what happened yesterdayy. myy mind automaticallyy erases bad memories, and onlyy brings them up when something happens to stir up the memories again. the memories also come back in flashbacks sometimes, just randomlyy. it's just the wayy myy brain functions. all throughout todayy, i kept having those flashbacks, and it made me remember, and it didn't feel real at all. i don't know. it can't be true, it just can't. it onlyy adds to the nightmares i sometimes have when i least expect it. &even though i kept randomlyy remembering things i never want to remember anymore, myy bunnyy made it okayy. i couldn't be near that one boyy todayy, i just couldn't. which meant i couldn't be with myy best friend, since they're always together. so i just stayed with bunnyy all dayy. and that girl, but she left us alone after a while. i think she got jealous again. even though i thought i had alreadyy reassured her that i won't be "the other girl" who interferes. they're mad at each other. i hate it. i feel horrible. but in a wayy, i think her jealousyy just might bring her mind back to realityy. if nothing more has happened after six years, wouldn't youu just give up?? i wrote a letter to her the other dayy. or, at least, i started writing it. one of those letters that are never sent. onlyy burned. but theyy help get what youu have to sayy out in the open. those letters always keep me from doing terrible things. but it's a pityy she would never layy her eyes on it.