laying around, no school todayy.. fuck. i just typed a superlong entryy. and sitD goes ahead and deletes it. anywayy, i've decided to faithfullyy update myy xanga again. it won't be the same as myy sitD. and i think it's cool to have two online journals. one more anonymous than the other. people i know read myy xanga anywayy. i was messaging myy crush through myspace all yesterdayy. until i ran out of stupid random things to sayy. which is reallyy rare, for me. i can't help but to hate the fact that i like him. myy first real crush since one year ago. first crush that i'm actuallyy making an effort to get to know. but i wonder if i'm doing this all in vain. i'm thinking that maybe i'll just end up hurting myself. but i don't have a choice... this invisible force is actuallyy forcing me. forcing me to believe that i have moved on. and in so manyy ways, i have. there's no turning back now. looking at each other for a brief moment, onlyy one thing was on our minds. i saw a tinyy smile creeping up his face. our hands somehow found each other, grasping tightlyy. this was our moment, and we ran off into the distance together drowning in promises to never look back.... [i have too much imagination sometimes.]