Yesterday: I hacked matts e mail Then i relized i missed him Later..Christina Kris and i went to schribers farm (followed by dunkin doughnuts) Went to my house ate played cards Took kris home Went to bed Today: Chritina picked me up, and we headed for kris's 10 min later we are dropping kris off bc christina got into a fight with him For the next five hours i listend to christina tell me what a scumbag kris is Somewhere in the middle i concluded that: 1. I dont miss matt, i miss the times 2. My boyfriend is NOT a scumbag and i do love him 3. Im probaly going to be single soon 4. Christina pisses me off more then a "friend" should 5. Both of them have valid points 6. I think im the only one that sees kris for what he really is 7. Ive already thought about everything she mentioned about him and have managed to be able to rule out most of the bad things. 8. Maybe kris is hiding something from me, but i dont think its something that would hurt us. 9. Maybe it is something that would hurt us 10. I do think he loves me, but not as much i do him 11. Matt is on my mind more then he should be 12. I miss my best friend heather 13. I need new friends 14. Kris isnt as bad as everyone would like to think he is 15. Maybe i give people too much credit 16. If i stand up for myself suddenly im a bitch, selffish, a bad friend, and not thinking clearly 17. I should say whats on my mind more often 18. Im scared. Im scared of everything. 19. It all feels hopeless 20. Maybe i should just stick to what i know: drugs sex and liqour 21. It will all work its self out. then i got my W2. and wrote this.